Mindfulness/Meditation Archives | Experience Life https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/category/lifestyle/personal-development/mindfulness-meditation/ Thu, 25 Sep 2025 18:22:56 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 How Embodiment Can Help You Reclaim Your Body’s Wisdom https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/how-embodiment-can-help-you-reclaim-your-bodys-wisdom/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/how-embodiment-can-help-you-reclaim-your-bodys-wisdom/#view_comments Tue, 23 Sep 2025 19:00:27 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=124038 In her new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, psychologist Diana Hill, PhD, explores how practicing embodiment can be a powerful source of vitality.

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Most of us long for a better relationship with our body. Maybe you want to eat better but find it hard to make changes. Or you can’t seem to get yourself off the couch to exercise. Perhaps you judge your body as too old, too fat, too small, too awkward, too whatever, and you let these thoughts limit what you do physically. Maybe you are so focused on looking a certain way that you have become disembodied. Or perhaps you spend so much time in your head — analyzing, problem-solving, and getting your work done — that you forget about your body altogether.

Your body has its own genius — an incredible ability to maintain balance, heal itself, and adapt to internal and external challenges. It operates complex systems like hormones and blood sugar, fights off infections, and repairs cell damage, all while adjusting to the rhythms of your daily life. An endocrinologist once told me she’d rather fly a 747 with no training than try to run a pancreas — it’s that complex and amazing.

A wise relationship with your body is an embodied one. Embodiment means inhabiting your body, understanding and responding to physical sensations, and expressing yourself physically. It gives you an authentic, powerful presence.

Think about people you’ve met who seem truly “embodied” —­ the way they confidently walk into a room, dance with their eyes closed, or intuitively place a hand on their chest when something moves them deeply. It’s a grounded confidence, a connection between body and mind.

When do you feel most embodied? Is it during a workout, while tossing a football with your kids, or when laughing with friends? It might show up in moments of strength, creativity, or connection —­ doing physical labor, being outside, moving to music, or having sex.

Embodiment isn’t just physical; it’s how you inhabit your life. Do you feel like you are “in” your body? Are you aware of what’s happening inside you?

Embodiment begins with curiosity — specifically with getting curious about your body’s signals. If your body could tell you what it’s been like to be your body, what would it say? What would your stomach say? Your thighs? Your eyes? And what would these body parts say they need from you?

Try this for yourself. Take a piece of paper and title it “A Letter From My Body.” Then let your body speak. What has it endured? What does it long for? Are there parts of you that feel neglected, exhausted, or unappreciated? Are there parts that you’ve criticized that might be asking for compassion?

Once you’ve written your letter, read it to yourself. Let your body’s message sink in. If you feel inspired, write a response —­ one of understanding, kindness, and commitment to treating your body differently.

Pay Deep Attention

An important step in embodiment is developing interoception — the ability to sense what’s happening inside your body. This internal awareness includes noticing your heartbeat, breath, hunger, and energy level.

But interoception isn’t just a body-­awareness tool; it’s a life-­awareness tool. Research links it to improved mental health, more mindful eating habits, and better decision-­making.

Even in high-­stakes environments, interoception plays a critical role. Stock-­market traders with stronger awareness of their heartbeat make better trades and earn more money. Even therapists who can better sense their own physiological changes can better detect and respond to client distress.

My doctoral research focused on interoceptive awareness of appetite signals —­ helping individuals struggling with eating and weight concerns reconnect with their hunger and fullness cues. It’s fascinating, and a little heartbreaking, that we have to relearn something that came so naturally to us as kids. But it’s not surprising when you consider how much our modern environment pulls us away from our bodies.

Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, coined the term “screen apnea” to describe the phenomenon in which we tend to breathe more shallowly or even hold our breath when using screens.

Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, coined the term “screen apnea” to describe the phenomenon in which we tend to breathe more shallowly or even hold our breath when using screens. Stone did some kitchen-­table science (not randomized or controlled) on the topic and found that 80 percent of the colleagues and friends she tested had shallow or suspended breathing while working on a screen. The clincher? Those 20 percent who didn’t show screen apnea were folks who tended to be pretty embodied — dancers, singers, a triathlete, and a cellist.

Since screens are an unavoidable part of life, the wise response isn’t to resist them but to create reminders to stay present in your body. Something as simple as a Post-­it note on your screen saying Breathe or Check in can help you look up, take a deep breath, and reconnect with yourself.

Or you could write the acronym HEART. It covers a lot of the bases of interoception:

HEART is a quick mental check-­in that helps you scan your body for its most essential signals: hunger, movement, emotions, fatigue, and stress. From there, you can respond with whatever meets the need — a snack, a stretch, a nap, a phone call to a friend, or some self-­massage.

Your body is always talking to you. What is it saying? Do you need a big sigh? To release some tension in your neck? To head outside for a walk? Try HEART right now. When you open to your body’s sensations, you also open to its intuition. Maybe your body is whispering something bigger than just its need for a rest — maybe ­it’s telling you it’s time to take a different life path.

Open Up to Intuition

Intuition is a felt sense, a nudge, that gives you clues about a situation, decision, or person. For years, during my struggles with disordered eating, I wasn’t just disconnected from my body’s physical signals —­ I had also shut down my inner knowing. I cut myself off from what I wanted, longed for, knew in my heart was true for me. In my recovery journey, and in my work with clients, I’ve found that when we start listening to our bodies, we hear more than just I’m hungry or I’m tired. We begin to receive deeper messages:

  • I need to say no to this, even though everyone is telling me to say yes.
  • Something feels off.
  • I’m being pulled toward something new.

Tuning in to my body’s wisdom has guided some of my biggest life decisions. It nudged me to say yes to a first date with my husband. It encouraged me to lead retreats, even when I wasn’t sure I was ready. It shapes how I parent my kids. But learning to trust this knowing didn’t happen overnight. I had to consciously open up to my body and practice listening.

Over the years, I’ve developed a simple way to access my intuition: checking in for a whole-body yes or a whole-body no when making decisions.

A whole-body yes feels expansive, clear, even energizing. A whole-body no, on the other hand, comes with tension.

A whole-body yes feels expansive, clear, even energizing. A whole-body no, on the other hand, comes with tension:­ I feel it in my clenched stomach or tight shoulders. I’ve learned the hard way that when I override a whole-body no, I pay the price later. I am stuck in things I don’t really want to do, and it depletes my energy. But intuition doesn’t have to work alone. Once you check in with your body, you can cross-reference with other sources of wisdom:

  • Trusted friends and family: Get perspective from people who know you well.
  • Experts and evidence: Seek guidance from those with experience or research in the area.
  • Problem-­solving mind: Use logic and critical thinking to analyze the situation.

When these sources align with your body’s knowing, you can trust that you’re making a wise, informed decision.

Science has a complicated relationship with intuition. Some researchers warn that while intuition can be fast and efficient, it’s also prone to biases and errors — especially in complex situations requiring careful analysis. But that doesn’t mean we should dismiss it entirely.

Rather, we can view intuition as a powerful decision-making tool when balanced with wisdom. Like any skill, it improves with practice and reflection. So before making a choice, pause and ask yourself: Is this a whole-body yes? Is this a whole-body no?

Then, give yourself the space to settle into a wise answer.

We were born connected to our bodies, inhabiting them fully, trusting them, and using them to communicate and experience pleasure. At some point in life, for a variety of reasons, many of us lose this loving connection and our ability to inhabit our bodies fully. Now is your chance to reclaim the energy that comes with being embodied. You can use wise effort to care for your body and enjoy this lifelong, ever-­changing adventure. Listen for the whole-­body yes, and your genius body will show you the way.

This excerpt is from Diana Hill’s book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most(September 2025) and is reprinted with permission from Sounds True.

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How to Build a Fall Morning Routine https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/how-to-build-a-fall-morning-routine/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/how-to-build-a-fall-morning-routine/#view_comments Thu, 11 Sep 2025 13:01:08 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=121443 Aligning your morning routine with the seasons can boost energy, support well-being, and keep you grounded. Try these ideas for the fall and feel the difference.

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Many of our morning routines are constants throughout the year. You may, for instance, always drink water before ingesting anything else, engage in certain movements to wake the body, or journal to engage the mind. Perhaps you make it a point to avoid the news until you’ve had a cup of coffee.

Beyond these essentials, though, your specific morning needs may evolve and fluctuate with the seasons. “Each season brings its own unique shifts in light, temperature, moisture, food availability, phytochemical profiles, and environmental stressors,” says Deanna Minich, PhD, CNS, IFMCP, a functional-medicine nutritionist, educator, and author based in Port Orchard, Wash.

She notes that these changes, no matter how subtle, affect our physiology. “By syncing our daily habits — especially how we start the day — with the cues nature provides, we support greater vitality, mental clarity, and adaptability.”

Natasha Ivantsova, founder of Glow Yoga and Wellness in San Francisco, adds that one of the keys to long-term wellness is honoring how our energy shifts — and adjusting our workouts accordingly. Each season has its own rhythm, she says, both in how our bodies feel and how motivated we are to move. Honoring these rhythm changes allows you to show up with more ease, stay physically and mentally balanced, and build strength and resilience year-round — without burnout.

AUTUMN // Consistency

Autumn is a time of transition and preparation, says Minich. “As daylight shortens and temperatures drop, the body and mind begin to turn inward.” She suggests adapting your morning routine to align with a back-to-school energy, since we’re conditioned for more structure after a busy summer.

Kali Higgins, an integrative health and wellness practitioner in Stillwater, Minn., who offers astrology readings and Ayurvedic-lifestyle coaching, says the wind is a prominent feature in the fall that can kick up anxiety. “Our energy is more scattered and vulnerable,” she says. Keep your morning routine simple and stick to it to provide consistency.

Consider these ideas for an autumn morning routine:

MEDITATION: Focus on connecting breath with movement. Build lung capacity by increasing your inhalation. Structured meditation with a mantra is helpful, too, Higgins says.

INTROSPECTION: The natural world is going dormant and preparing for winter’s rest. Take a few minutes in the morning to journal: Reckon with what you’ve accomplished during the year, take stock of what you have left, and lean into gratitude for the present moment. (Try one of these embodiment practices to get out of your head and into the present.)

ATMOSPHERE: Add gentle sensory inputs like a steam bath or self-massage. “Playing calming music in the background or applying essential oils like eucalyptus behind the ears and on the neck can promote immune support,” Minich says.

NUTRITION: “Work to reduce caffeine, sugar, drugs, alcohol, or any sort of stimulant in your life,” Higgins suggests. Start eating warmer foods, sipping herbal teas, and cooking with healing spices.

MOVEMENT: “Fall is when people tend to crave routine again,” says Ivantsova. “There’s a deeper need for growth and focus.” She recommends turning your attention to contemplative practices and finding ways to solidify your daily self-care schedule. Core and strength work may be particularly supportive.

ENERGY: “Because the wind element can trigger worry and nervous energy, give that windy energy something to do,” Higgins says. “Turn it into excitement and inspiration.” Practice overcoming fears, insecurities, and anxieties, or work on creative endeavors. Read books that foster creativity and imagination.

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5 Tools to Enhance Your Meditation Practice https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/5-tools-to-enhance-your-meditation-practice/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/5-tools-to-enhance-your-meditation-practice/#view_comments Tue, 09 Sep 2025 13:01:56 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=121944 Here are some of our favorite peace-promoting items, including beeswax candles and essential-oil sprays.

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SLOWDOWN TIME

sand timer

These beautiful hourglass timers are a simple tool to support focus during timed activities.

Find five- and 30-minute versions for $23 and $36 at www.thesleepcode.com.

PURE LIGHT

primally pure candle

Primally Pure beeswax candles are scented with high-quality essential oils. The Cool Citrus Breeze variety smells like coastal California: floral and clean. 

$48 at www.primallypure.com.

SACRED SPACE

sage sticks

Burning palo santo is a traditional method for clearing negative energy; it has a faint sandal­wood fragrance.

$10 a bundle at www.primallypure.com.

POSITIVE FOCUS

Mindful affirmations card deck

It’s easy to fixate on challenges and imperfections, but these affirmation cards remind us to appreciate the health and resilience we already have. 

$32 at www.intelligentchange.com.

GOOD SCENTS

Saju room spray

Made for spritzing a yoga mat or studio, the Yoga spray from Saje uses a centering combination of woodsy, citrusy essential oils to help bring you back to your senses. 

$24 at www.saje.com.

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The Many Benefits of Spontaneity — and How to Cultivate More of It https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/the-many-benefits-of-spontaneity-and-how-to-cultivate-more-of-it/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/the-many-benefits-of-spontaneity-and-how-to-cultivate-more-of-it/#view_comments Wed, 02 Jul 2025 12:00:49 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=116040 It’s easy to sabotage our efforts by trying too hard, especially when we really want something. The Chinese concept of wu-wei suggests the alternative approach of being in the moment.

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The rules of danger tennis are simple: Hit the ball as hard as you can, and don’t worry about whether it lands in or out. Just swing.

A friend of mine invented danger tennis after noticing during routine matches that our play often became hesitant, tight. We were trying to win points — or at least not lose them — and so our swings and shot placement had become overly cautious.

Switching to danger tennis made the tension magically dissolve. Shoulders relaxed and wrists loose, we could swing as hard as we wanted, and, amazingly, the ball never went out. Crushing forehands and elegant backhands simply flowed off our rackets. We decided we should just play danger tennis all the time.

If only. It turns out you can’t just turn danger tennis on when you need it. Introduce points, spectators, or extraneous thoughts of any kind, and the tension and tics come flooding back.

Like the butterfly of happiness that alights in your hand only if you are not trying to catch it, danger tennis comes only to those who don’t pursue it.

Dating is the same. During my early 20s, I would try hard to convey my own attractive coolness by lingering at coffeehouses with dense volumes of classical Chinese literature casually left open on my table and my motorcycle helmet clearly visible on the seat beside me.

I read ancient Chinese. I ride a motorcycle. Stop and talk to me.  

Without exception, the women of San Francisco walked on. My desperate attempts to seem desirable kept me celibate until an intense shift at my restaurant job one evening left me so spent that I managed to stumble into a drought-ending date — one that happened only because I wasn’t trying to make it happen.

Effortless tennis and romantic appeal are not the only goals in life that elude direct, effortful pursuit. Creative insight, humor, trust — even something as basic as sleep — are all things that cannot be forced. The only way to get them is to not chase them directly. You have to try not to try.

Easier said than done. But possible.

We experience wu-wei when we are in contact with things that matter to us.

a dad plays trains with his young son

What Is Wu-Wei?

The paradox involved in trying not to try obsessed the early Chinese thinkers I spent the first years of my career studying. Daoist or Confucian, they all shared the spiritual ideal of wu-wei, or ­“effortless action.”

Wu-wei is a state of mind where you lose the sense of yourself as an agent and are completely absorbed in what you are doing. You are spontaneous, unselfconscious, and relaxed. As a result, you move through the world with perfect ease, which often amounts to greater success in everything you do.

It thus resembles the idea of flow — a state attained when you stop feeling the effort of a task or activity and lose track of the passage of time. Yet wu-wei is a broader and, in my view, more helpful concept.

Flow, as defined and popularized by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, PhD, demands experiences in which the difficulty and complexity are constantly ramped up. As your skill improves, you require more challenging situations to experience flow so you don’t become bored. Yet, if an activity is too hard, you’ll become frustrated.

Csikszentmihalyi was emphatic about distinguishing true flow from fake versions. Vegging out in front of the TV or getting lost in social media can provide some of flow’s hallmarks, such as loss of self and not noticing the passage of time. Still, these experiences tend to leave us enervated and depressed, not satisfied and relaxed. Doomscrolling is absorbing, but it isn’t flow.

At the same time, there’s a problem with defining true flow in terms of complexity and challenge. While this description fits certain activities, like rock climbing or competitive tennis, it fails to capture the true flow experiences of most people.

This is where wu-wei comes into play. For the early Chinese, the defining feature of wu-wei was that it involved a person living in harmony with the metaphysical order of the universe, which they called “the Way” or “the Dao.”

The equivalent, for modern Westerners who might not believe in a supernatural Way, would be the experience of becoming absorbed in something that is both bigger than you and valuable in your eyes.

That second part is key.

We get into wu-wei when playing with our toddlers because we love them and value spending time with them, not because sitting cross-legged on the floor attending a tea party of stuffed animals is inherently challenging or complex.

We emerge from weeding the garden feeling satisfied and fulfilled because we feel that ­contact with nature — with growing, living things — is meaningful, and ­because we take pleasure in our healthy flowers and vegetables getting to spread their roots and breathe freely.

We experience wu-wei when we are in contact with things that matter to us.

a woman shops for orange trees

We emerge from weeding the garden feeling satisfied and fulfilled because we feel that contact with nature — with growing, living things — is meaningful, and because we take pleasure in our healthy flowers and vegetables getting to spread their roots and breathe freely.

On Not Trying

Great. So, find something that you value. Become absorbed in it. Success and pleasure will follow.

The problem with this advice is that our conscious minds have a habit of getting in the way of spontaneity. The trick of wu-wei is that you can obtain it only if you are not actively trying to do so.

An early Daoist text, the Zhuangzi, has a passage highlighting this tension:

“If you’re betting for pottery tiles in an archery contest, you are perfectly skillful. Raise the stakes to belt buckles and you begin to worry about your aim. Start betting for gold and you’re a complete wreck — you can no longer shoot straight. Your skill is the same in all three cases, but your greed causes you to focus on the external prize. As a general rule, those who value what is on the outside become clumsy on the inside.”

The only way to win the gold is to not want to win the gold. You need to relax into your body and be absorbed completely into the flow of the sport itself, giving your skill space to do its thing. You need to let this activity, one you value for its own sake, take control.

But it’s hard not to think about the gold!

The reason that the fluid, powerful backhands of danger tennis turn into tense, clumsy volleys when playing a regular match is that one is valuing what is on the outside and thereby failing to enter wu-wei.

This is true of both physical and social skills. For the early Chinese, the most important feature of wu-wei was not that it allowed them to shoot well in archery but that it allowed them to win the hearts and minds of other people and move through the social world with effortless ease. People in wu-wei were thought to acquire a charismatic power to attract and influence others.

In contemporary terms, this charisma is what successful politicians possess in abundance and what people trying too hard to find a date — like I did in my early 20s — decidedly lack. You can’t acquire charisma through effort or force of will.

Someone who is trying too hard to be charming is not charming; rather, they seem inauthentic. The only way to avoid this is to engage with the social situation, genuinely listen to the people around you, speak when you have something to say, and remain silent when you don’t. Smile when something is funny, and don’t force it.

The description of the “True ­Person” in the Zhuangzi portrays this ideal perfectly:

“The True Person of ancient times was proper without being partisan and could ask for help without being obsequious. They were humble without making a display of their humility. Relaxed and at ease, they appeared happy; when they ­acted, they simply did whatever the situation demanded. Their ­accumulated attractiveness drew people’s eyes to them; they abided with no ulterior motive, but no one doubted their virtue.”

a woman holds her phone while looking out the window

The incredible amount of information at our fingertips extinguishes the opportunity for spontaneous wandering and chance discoveries.

Effortless Action

So, what do you do if you are not yet a True Person but want to be one? How do you simply “abide,” like The Dude in The Big Lebowski, when in fact you are wracked by social anxiety and desperately want to be liked?

There is no definitive answer, because the problem of trying not to try is a genuine cognitive paradox grounded in the basic structure of the human brain. When you consciously try to relax, you activate the very part of the brain that you want to shut down.

It is like the famous white bear paradox studied by the psychologist Daniel Wegner: If you’re told not to think of a white bear, you will, because the concept has just been activated in your mind. The brain is structured in such a way as to make it impossible to consciously try not to try.

Early Chinese philosophical responses to this paradox varied. Some thinkers proposed practices that might eventually trick you into wu-wei, like counting sheep so you’ll stop worrying about falling asleep. Others focused more on lulling the mind through the body, advocating breathing exercises or sitting in a particular way.

Their crucial shared insight was that spontaneity can only be pursued indirectly. You can create a space for it to come, but you can’t directly pursue it or try to grab it.

More generally, these philoso­phers recognized that we cannot be fully happy or accomplished human beings unless we embrace this conundrum. We need to learn how to stop pushing when effort is counterproductive.

This ancient paradox provides an urgent insight for us today. Our modern world is built on striving and micromanagement. Over the last decade or so, smartphones and social media have made things immeasurably worse for our peace of mind.

We used to get a little mental downtime as we walked from place to place or stood waiting for a bus. Now even that small island of wu-wei has been squeezed out by a firehose of incessant videos and posts and likes and alerts.

The incredible amount of infor­mation at our fingertips ­extinguishes the opportunity for spontaneous wandering and chance discoveries. Rather than exploring a new place on foot, we read endless reviews of hotels and restaurants and try to maximize every experience.

We are all too often like tennis players anxiously trying to place their shots, overthinking things, cautious and ineffective — and not having much fun.

We have a choice about whether to continue laboring on the treadmill of fruitless effort. We can also choose to step off that treadmill and into the unknown.

a couple stands with their hands wide open overlooking a desert scene

Room for Wu-Wei

To my thinking, we could all use a bit more danger tennis in our lives. Of course, if we try too hard, spontaneity will elude us, but this doesn’t leave us helpless. There are ways to make space for spontaneity — or at least to avoid scaring it off.

Recently my partner and I were in Texas, dealing with a challenging family health crisis. We needed a break from sitting in the hospital room and decided to go out for a drink before dinner. My partner got on Yelp to look at reviews of nearby bars but then stopped herself. “Danger tennis!” she said, and I knew immediately what she meant.

We headed to a sketchy but intriguing bar that we’d spotted during the drive to the hospital. It had a faux stone facade, like a castle, and was wedged between a Dunkin’ and a couple of vacant storefronts in a strip mall.

The interior was dark, with a faintly unpleasant odor. We proceeded to get two perfectly acceptable drinks for 10 bucks, win the round of the trivia contest that was in full swing when we arrived, and chat enjoyably with some colorful locals. It was a wonderful time. Yelp would have led us to the bar at the local franchise of a chain Italian restaurant.

Chalk up a win for danger tennis.

This is how cultivating wu-wei looks in daily life: Take a random walk in the woods. Step away from banging your head against writer’s block and have a beer, or play some foosball, or weed the garden or neglected window box.

Send your kids out on their bikes to figure out what to do between now and dinner. Turn and chat with a stranger on the bus instead of staring at your phone. They may be startled and call the police, but then again they may not. Either way, you’ll have done your part to support a comeback for ­spontaneous conversations.

Another early Daoist text, the Laozi, advises, “Be wu-wei (literally ‘do nothing’), and nothing will be left undone.”

In many areas of life, this turns out to be pretty good advice. We have a choice about whether to continue laboring on the treadmill of fruitless effort. We can also choose to step off that treadmill and into the unknown.

This article originally appeared as “Trying Not to Try” in the July/August 2025 issue of Experience Life.

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In Search of Glimmers: How Micromoments of Awe Can Boost Your Mood https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/in-search-of-glimmers-how-micromoments-of-awe-can-boost-your-mood/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/in-search-of-glimmers-how-micromoments-of-awe-can-boost-your-mood/#view_comments Fri, 20 Jun 2025 13:01:06 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=116046 How seeking out the good moments can help you feel happier, calmer, and more connected to those around you.

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You’ve likely heard of triggers — words, events, or experiences that spark fear or anxiety — but have you heard of their opposite? “Glimmers” are micromoments of joy that make you feel safe and connected to your body and the world around you.

The concept was introduced by social worker Deb Dana, LCSW, in her 2018 book The Polyvagal ­Theory in Therapy. “Glimmers,” she writes, “can help calm a nervous system in survival mode and bring a return of auto­­nomic regulation.”

In other words, they can move you out of a stressed, triggered state and into a calmer one.

You might experience a glimmer when you hear a song you love. Or while you’re out exploring nature. Perhaps it’s seeing your dog wagging his tail when you come home, receiving a long hug from a loved one, or even eating a perfect piece of sushi. Anything that gives you a cozy, peaceful feeling can be a glimmer.

Liz Brinkman, RDN, a certified intuitive-eating counselor in Phoenix, teaches the concept of glimmers to her patients who have developed patterns of disordered eating. She finds glimmers useful in her own life as well and describes the feeling they elicit as a calming warmth in her heart area. “My whole system feels a sense of ease,” she says.

Though glimmers are abundant, they’re more evasive than triggers. That’s because our brains are wired to continuously scan our surroundings for threats. “It’s a survival mechanism that’s built into our brains — the negativity bias,” explains Justine Grosso, PsyD, a holistic psychologist in Durham, N.C.

Sensing danger can be dangerous in its own way: When you feel threatened, your body releases adrenaline into the bloodstream, increasing your blood pressure. If the sense of threat lingers, cortisol levels rise to keep the body on high alert. Over time, these effects can contribute to other health complications, including gastrointestinal issues and sleep problems.

“And if you’ve experienced trauma,” Grosso adds, “you may have developed a hyper­vigilance to threat and may even perceive a threat when there isn’t one. That’s really stressful on bodies.”

But glimmers can counteract that stress response — and the more glimmers we experience, the easier it is for us to downshift when we’re triggered. That’s due to something called “the window of tolerance,” Grosso says.

The window of tolerance is the space in which we’re able to successfully regulate our emotions. People with a history of trauma tend to have a narrow window of tolerance and may live in the state of hyperarousal that Grosso describes.

Actively seeking glimmers widens the window of tolerance, training our brains to keep an eye out for joy instead of (or in addition to) danger. This helps us build a more resilient nervous system, so we feel triggered for a shorter amount of time and the experience becomes less intense.

Those resilience-building effects last. “We’re banking positive emotional experiences and pleasant sensations that represent safety instead of threat,” Grosso explains.

These are some of the easiest ways to seek and spot glimmers so you can take in their calming effects.

( 1 )

GET SUPPORT

When you first begin seeking glimmers, it can be helpful to have a glimmer-focused talk with a like-minded friend or family member. In some cases, working with a therapist could be the most effective approach.

A therapist can be especially helpful for people with a history of trauma or PTSD, Brinkman notes. When she worked at a Veterans Affairs hospital, one of the therapists there would ask people to imagine holding a pet. A feeling of calm would come over them as they visualized petting the animal and feeling its purring or rhythmic breathing.

“She invited them into an experience they already had,” Brinkman says, “to see if they could access that same sense of calm inside themselves again.”

( 2 )

WRITE THEM DOWN

The Book of Delights, a series of short essays by award-winning poet Ross Gay, is an exercise in glimmer-seeking. Gay finds joy in little things — pecans, an infinity scarf, poetry readings — and allows the reader to relish them as well. (Learn more about his year of chronicling joy at “The Book of Delights.”)

Gay’s collection also functions as a guidebook: Writing in a journal is a useful way to sort out your thoughts, helping you winnow them down to the heart of any matter. On lucky days, this could result in a glimmer. Keep a list of the moments that make you feel calm and joyful, using as much detail as possible when describing them so you can easily access the feeling later.

You might also try keeping a sensory notebook. The key here is to incorporate as many of your senses as possible. What was the most glimmery thing you saw, touched, tasted, smelled, or heard that day? Linger in the memory to be sure you’re embodying the feeling as you recall it. (Get more tips for sharpening your senses at “Come to Your Senses: Sensory Retreats.”)

( 3 )

TAKE AN AWE WALK

A study published in the journal Emotion in 2022 investigated the emotional benefits of an “awe walk” on healthy older adults. Sixty participants took weekly 15-minute outdoor walks for eight weeks. An experimental group was directed to notice and experience moments of awe (which are also glimmers) during their walks; a control group was not.

Those who took awe walks reported feeling greater joy and other positive emotions during their strolls. They also reported more daily positive emotions and less daily distress afterward. (Discover more ways to experience awe at “How to Experience More Awe.”)

You might take an awe walk while forest bathing — a Japanese practice that involves fully immersing your senses in a quiet outdoor setting — for an extra dose of mood support. (Learn how reconnecting with nature can offer a range of health benefits at “The Benefits of Forest Bathing.”)

( 4 )

CREATE A RITUAL

Each evening, Brinkman and her family discuss the glimmers they experienced that day. “I was talking to one of my sons the other night,” she recalls, “and I asked him what the best part of his day was. He said, ‘I got this really cool drink of water, and I could feel it go all the way down my throat, into my stomach, and it felt so good.’ That’s a glimmer.”

You can also attach glimmer-­seeking to an activity you’re already doing. Try looking around your kitchen while your coffee brews in the morning: Is there art on the wall that delights you? Maybe you notice the sunshine streaming through the window, or an eye-catching array of green plants.

Or at the end of the day, while you’re brushing your teeth, review the day’s events and linger over any glimmers you may have encountered.

Reflecting on glimmers can impart the same feelings of well-being as ­experiencing them in the moment. This is especially true when you’re able to recall the physical and sensory details. Give yourself the time and space to move beyond the visual or aural memory and try to actually feel it in your body. “It’s the opposite of dissociating,” Brinkman explains. “Instead, I’m staying in relationship with my body — feeling present and connected in the moment.”

( 5 )

KEEP IT REAL

Nothing is perfect, and pretending an experience is perfect defeats the purpose of glimmer-seeking. Finding moments of joy doesn’t mean bypassing reality. Instead, Grosso says, “it’s about becoming present to the full spectrum of what’s happening in the present moment.”

Glimmers can be paradoxical, in that they sometimes come with a side of grief. “Because glimmers send the message to our brain that we’re safe now, we might grieve a time when we weren’t,” she explains. It can be painful to recognize that past trauma, but it can also be healing to acknowledge it from a place of calm and safety.

 Balance

Explore more empowering strategies to support your efforts to live in (closer) alignment with your values at our Balance department.

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Finding My Peace https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/finding-my-peace/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/finding-my-peace/#view_comments Thu, 01 May 2025 13:01:00 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=115050 Experience Life’s editor-in-chief shares her goal of carving out time to develop a more consistent meditation practice.

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“Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively,” writes renowned mindfulness teacher Sharon Salzberg in her 2010 New York Times best-selling book, Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation. If only I turned to meditation as willingly and as frequently as I reach for my actual mobile device.

The reality is, of all the healthy-living habits we write about in Experience Life, this is the one I’ve had the most trouble making part of my routine. Though it’s not for lack of trying.

Over the past 20 years, I’ve repeatedly attempted to adopt a meditation practice. I’ve bought books with daily prompts, downloaded apps with chimes and timers, and put reminders on my phone. For whatever reason, it hasn’t stuck.

Wake up bright and early five mornings a week to work out? No problem. Take my vitamins and supplements like clockwork? Done. Maintain a decent sleep schedule? I’ve got that covered too (at least most of the time).

It’s not for lack of awareness about meditation’s many benefits. In these pages of Experience Life and elsewhere, I’ve learned how a meditation practice can help us develop focus, mindfulness, greater compassion and empathy, and other skills. Mentally and physically, it can help reduce anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, and boost immunity.

So what’s the deal with my resistance?

I think it comes down to accountability. I’m typically not doing my other health-supportive habits on my own. Connection and community — in some form or another — keep me on track.

Meditation is truly a solo endeavor, and when I’m accountable only to myself, I tend to let good habits slip. I’m aiming to change that this spring.

But meditation is truly a solo endeavor, and when I’m accountable only to myself, I tend to let good habits slip. I’m aiming to change that this spring.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month — the inspiration for this issue’s “Find Your Peace” theme.  So I’m recommitting to prioritizing my mental well-being. Just as strength training is one of the tools I use to build my fitness, meditation will be a resource for supporting my emotional health.

I’ll start small, with just five minutes a day.  And, alongside thousands of others, I’ll follow the guidance of the four-week mindfulness challenge in the Life Time app (free for everyone). Checking that box on the daily schedule — and knowing I’m not the only one doing so — might just be the motivation I need to finally make this habit stick.

In this busy phase of life, I’ll also look for moments to slow down and just be. It might be dabbing an essential oil on my wrist and taking a few minutes to breathe. It might be devoting five minutes of my morning run to listening to the birds chirp. It might be breaking down a project into smaller parts so it feels more feasible. You get the picture. (For more ideas, see “7 Ways Movement Benefits Mental Health” and “22 Ways to Lighten Your Mood.”)

It’s all about taking the time to care for myself amid all the other to-dos. Even if it’s just five minutes, it’s something. And that’s way better than nothing.

This article originally appeared as “Take Five” in the May/June 2025 issue of Experience Life. 

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The Joys of Imperfection https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/the-joys-of-imperfection/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/the-joys-of-imperfection/#view_comments Wed, 30 Apr 2025 13:01:20 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=115069 Author Oliver Burkeman describes the freedom of embracing your limitations.

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Oliver Burkeman is an expert in contrarian consolation. He’s also a former columnist at The Guardian and the author of several books that offer antidotes to the excesses of self-help culture. “Excesses” here meaning the promise offered by many books and podcasts that we can learn to be wildly productive, perfectly calm, and totally on top of things at some future date, if only we follow their formulas.

Many of us are suckers for these. Yet somehow, those ideas rarely seem to cross over from fantasy to reality.

Burkeman takes the opposite approach. Rather than teasing us with techniques that promise to turn us into productivity wizards, his titles — Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and his newest, Meditations for Mortals — put the reality of our limited time front and center. (Because we’re all going to die, this focus also gives his work broad demographic appeal.)

Burkeman’s gentle reminders of our finitude add up to a bracing call to action: We may as well do that thing we’ve been waiting to do, imperfectly and now-ish, rather than continue to waste precious time pursuing a mirage of perfection.

Meditations for Mortals is structured as a four-week retreat for readers, with 28 daily reflections on this reality-based approach to life. Burkeman recently shared with us some of the central ideas of his latest book.

Q&A With Oliver Burkeman

Experience Life | What is imperfectionism?

Oliver Burkeman | Imperfection­ism is my umbrella term for the approach to life that I’m trying to describe in the book — one I hope to embody myself someday. It begins with accepting our limitations.

Our time is finite. There will always be too much to do. We will never be able to know the future. We can only understand a limited amount about what’s going on in the world. I wanted a name for the idea that says, OK, these limits are our reality. Now, how do we act in it? How do we do constructive, meaningful, difference-making things in it? Can we start from our lack of control and act anyway?

EL | You suggest the idea of “getting on top of things” is mainly fantasy.

OB | There’s a pretty universal desire to get to some future point at which life is all smooth sailing. And there’s plenty of productivity advice that suggests you can someday become efficient enough to handle everything that comes your way.

Yet the universe of meaningful things is much vaster than my individual bandwidth. It’s impossible for me to ever get to everything that matters to me. Realizing this can be quite relaxing. I describe this as the liberation of realizing that it’s worse than you thought.

EL | What happens when we realize that we’ll never get everything done?

OB | If you believe that getting on top of everything is difficult but somehow possible, that’s an agonizing way to live. But if you understand that getting completely on top of things is not just difficult but impossible, that may offer a relief; it’s hard to beat yourself up for not doing something that you understand you can never do.

This frees up your energy to do a few things that really count. You become absorbed in the things that you’re doing rather than seeing them only as stepping­stones to a place of ultimate control. You get to stop postponing life.

EL | What do you say to someone who’s afraid that slowing down will destroy their productivity?

OB |This notion that we’ve got to go hard at ourselves or we’ll completely slack off is not usually true. I do understand the panic in that question —  the worry that you have to keep going at a breakneck pace because good results have come from it before.

If you can allow yourself to unclench a little bit, slacking off is not what happens — at least not in my experience. Not only do you continue doing things but you do them with more energy and focus. You do things better because you’re no longer trying to spread your attention over absolutely everything.

EL | How does imperfectionism address the fear of failure?

OB | What imperfectionism says to worry is this: You will certainly get life wrong. If your goal was to do something completely perfectly, or to never waste a moment or disappoint a single person, it’s too late. That ship has sailed.

When you’re trying not to be a flawed human, you hold back. But you already are a flawed human. I find that thought motivating! If I’m already imperfect, then why not do the thing? This is definitely a contrarian form of consolation, but that’s what works for me.

EL | How might imperfectionism help us make better choices?

OB | We spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make decisions that don’t cause any distress. But if we can accept that such consequences are unavoidable, every difficult decision becomes a question of weighing them.

Changing the time of a meeting may annoy your colleagues, but you choose to tolerate that so you can pick up your child from school. Or you accept the near-term agony of leaving an unhappy marriage to avoid the long-term suffering of staying. It’s about asking yourself which problem you want to have. There’s no way to have zero problems.

EL | What is scruffy hospitality?

OB | The phrase comes from the Anglican priest Jack King. He and his wife loved entertaining guests, but they also had this onerous checklist of tasks to complete before they’d have anyone over. So they decided to just invite people around and say, “This is how the house is, this is what we have in our cupboards, and this is what we’ve cooked for you.”

In my experience, this might mean you slightly apologetically invite people into a house that’s messy and serve them a bowl of spaghetti with tomato sauce, then find you’re more relaxed and connected than if you’d overprepared.

We put a lot of effort into maintaining our façades; sometimes that’s unavoidable. But whenever you lower them a little bit, you let people into your real life.

This is not just about dinner parties. It’s also about sharing our feelings and our failures. You’re saying that if you invite me around to your house, you don’t need to make it pristine first. And that if you’re ever feeling in a despondent mood when we hang out, you’re allowed to tell me about it.

EL | What is resonance?

OB | This comes from German social theorist Hartmut Rosa. He uses the example of a first snowfall of winter. It feels magical because it’s a gift; it isn’t something you could go out and get. It wouldn’t feel meaningful if it was a snow machine generating fake snow.

A relationship to the world that allows for resonance is, on some level, antithetical to control. We invite resonance when we aren’t trying to force life to unfold on our terms.

It’s not that all control is bad — to be completely at the mercy of your circumstances is horrifying. But you can be in a relationship with the world that’s more of a dance. You have agency and you do things, then you wait and see how the world responds.

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22 Ways to Lighten Your Mood https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/lighten-your-mood/ https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/lighten-your-mood/#view_comments Thu, 24 Apr 2025 13:01:25 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=111058 Dishes are piling up, bills are overdue, and the phone’s pinging — we’ve all felt the weight of everyday overwhelm. Try these small, intentional actions to improve your mental well-being.

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The dishes are piled up, the bills are overdue, and you’re stewing over a spat with your partner. Your phone’s pinging nonstop: texts, headlines, spam. You haven’t exercised in days, and you don’t know when you’ll next have time.

Many of us feel the weight of everyday overwhelm. But if we try to overhaul our lives all at once — relationships, finances, and spiritual outlook — we’re likely to end up feeling even more defeated and distant from the relief we’re seeking. Then we blame ourselves.

“When our results fall short of our expectations, the inner critic finds an opening and steps on stage,” writes behavior scientist BJ Fogg, PhD, in Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything.

The problem isn’t our desire for change; it’s the scale of change we’re pursuing. Fogg’s book shows readers, step by step, how to get around that impasse and improve their lives by focusing on tiny changes.

“You could scold yourself down the path of change,” writes Fogg, who founded Stanford University’s Behavior Design Lab. “Or you could make your life easier. You could start tiny.”

Taking small, intentional actions reminds us that we still have some agency and control, an important antidote to overwhelm.

“It boosts your mental health. It boosts how you’re able to show up and provide for other people,” explains home-organizing expert Shira Gill, ­author of LifeStyled: Your Guide to a More Organized and Intentional Life.

The next time you feel bogged down, try one of these strategies. Each can remind you there is something positive you can do in the moment, no matter how helpless you might feel.

As Fogg notes, “Feeling successful offers an antidote to the go-big-or-go-home culture, and a new lens through which to see yourself.”

a clutter free nook

1) Declutter small spaces.

Clutter can make us anxious — and so can berating ourselves for not having the energy to clean our entire home. Small acts of tidying, meanwhile, can feel satisfying.

“Pick one room, put blinders on, and black out the rest of your home,” suggests Gill. “Within that room, tackle one microspace at a time so you can actually see the progress.”

If your entire living space feels like a disaster, she suggests focusing on one individual mess, like a stack of papers. “Tell yourself, I’m going to go through the papers. Then I’m going to set up a mail basket by our entry so we no longer have to see the piles overtaking our kitchen counter. That’s a little win that’s final,” she says.

2) Unclog your inbox.

Digital clutter can be as stressful as physical clutter, but parting with old emails can be uniquely difficult.

University of California, Los Angeles, clinical professor of psychiatry Emanuel Maidenberg, PhD, offers this behavior-change blueprint for support: Schedule a specific time for your digital declutter — and allocate about 15 minutes a day to the task. Start by deleting the oldest items in your inbox. Work toward the present. Notice your shoulders getting lighter as each old email disappears. That last part is important.

“Once you start experiencing relief, things become much easier,” says Maidenberg. This feeling will motivate you to keep going.

(Here are more tips and strategies to help you organize your desktop, laptop and mobile devices.)

3) Choose a “15-minute win.”

Pick a task you’re resisting: paying a bill, returning an email, cleaning the refrigerator. “These are things that feel overwhelming but take much less time than you think,” says Gill.

After choosing your target, apply the “15-­minute win” formula: Silence your devices. Set a timer for 15 minutes. Then roll up your sleeves and get ­cracking.

Once you’ve recovered from the shock that your dreaded task required 15 minutes or less of your time, give yourself a little reward. This acts as a bargaining chip for your brain, as Gill puts it.

(Help overcome procrastination by learning more about Morita Therapy, a therapy that offers a philosophical, tough-love approach to undoing your own undoings.)

4) Give yourself a high-five.

Good feelings spur the release of dopamine, which reinforces positive behaviors. “What happens in your brain when you experience positive reinforcement isn’t magic — it’s neurochemical,” Fogg writes. “Feeling successful helps us wire in new habits, and it motivates us to do more.”

So, the next time you have a triumph, no matter how tiny, congratulate yourself. If happy dances are your thing, do one. Or say, loudly and with feeling: “Yes!” Or give yourself a high-five. Whatever form of self-celebration works for you is the right one.

a dog high five's it's owner

5) Cultivate “pearl habits.”

Oysters create pearls in response to irritants; Fogg suggests humans try doing the same.

Consider this adaptation of one of his pearl habits exercises: Make a list of your top pet peeves — on-hold music, long lines, your neighbor’s leaf blower. Pick one. (Definitely the leaf blower.) Choose a positive action that can counterbalance your irritation.

For instance: ­Whenever I hear the leaf blower, I will put on my noise-canceling headphones and tidy up my desktop. When you complete the positive action, give yourself a mental high-five to reinforce the behavior. See if your irritation subsides. Either way, your desk will be cleaner.

6) Pause your purchasing.

For one month, avoid all unnecessary purchases. Verging on a splurge? Jot down how you feel. “This reflection can help identify the shopping triggers,” says Gill. These are often anxiety, loneliness, or boredom.

Sitting with the urge to buy an unnecessary thing can also help you pinpoint the deeper needs you’re trying to satisfy, she continues. “Then you can work on meeting them.”

To relieve boredom, you could get some exercise, connect with a friend, or switch up your focus.

a man walks outside

7) Lace up your sneakers and head outside.

There’s a reason the “take a walk” cure never goes out of style. “If you have 20 minutes and you go for a walk, you’re likely to have a much better outcome than anything else that you can do during these 20 minutes,” says Maidenberg.

8) Slow your scroll.

Many of us turn to social media when stressful thoughts take hold, aiming for a little light entertainment. It may feel like a quick fix, but “it also has a tendency to be habit-forming,” says Maidenberg.

One way to avoid losing hours to distraction: Set a timer for 15 minutes every time you log on. There are no built-in off-ramps for most forms of social media; a reminder ding will add one.

computer and iphone with cute old fashioned clock
computer and iphone with cute old fashioned clock

9) Moderate your news intake.

You can stay informed about politics and culture without being inundated. ­Maidenberg suggests seeking out “one or two neutral and reliable sources of information” and checking in once or twice a day for 10 minutes or so. “Limiting the amount of time is key,” he says.

Like social media, news sites are designed to be addictive, so we often find ourselves reading for far longer than we intended, he adds. “It’s just impossible to get to the point of thinking that I know everything.” If this is the case for you, it may be helpful to set a timer here, too.

10) Remember, you’re not alone.

It’s easy to feel isolated in our stress, but we’re rarely the only ones who feel as we do. “We live in a world whose demands, crises, and economic pressures breed anxiety, stress, and a kind of low-grade panic,” says Buddhist meditation teacher Oren Jay Sofer, author of Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis With Courage, Integrity, and Love.

“These feelings are often healthy, normal reactions to the kind of overstimulation and pressure so many of us face,” he adds. “Remembering that a lot of us are struggling right now, we feel less alone.”

11) Redirect your attention.

Next time you find yourself entangled in worries about the future, try taking stock of your physical surroundings. “This isn’t about avoiding our problems or pretending everything’s OK, but rather choosing where we place our attention,” Sofer explains.

He suggests this sensory exercise: “Focus your attention on three things you can see, then three things you can hear, then three things you can touch. With each one, notice the actual sensations themselves. Listen to the melody rather than thinking bird. Feel the texture of the fabric rather than thinking pants. Keep cycling through the three senses in a slow, steady way until you begin to feel more oriented to the present.”

He suggests that once you’ve regained a calm perspective, ask yourself what, if anything, you can do to address the root cause of your overwhelm.

(Here are additional practices you can implore to help get out of your head and into the present.)

“We’re wired to enjoy giving. Being generous, being kind, serving — these acts have the power to transform our hearts and brighten our world.”

people reaching hands towards each other
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sparkles

12) Do something kind.

Buy coffee for the person behind you in line. Compliment a stranger’s coat. Donate to a good cause. Listen wholeheartedly to a friend who needs to talk. Any small act of kindness will do.

A 2023 analysis of data from an ongoing project at the Greater Good Science Center found that people who performed “micro-acts of joy” for seven consecutive days experienced a 26 percent increase in their emotional well-being. (For more on microacts of joy, visit “7 Strategies to Create a Happiness Habit.”)

“We’re wired to enjoy giving,” explains Sofer. “Being generous, being kind, serving — these acts have the power to transform our hearts and brighten our world.” Shifting our focus to others can pull us out of the tendency to focus solely on our own problems, he adds.

 

13) Snuggle your cat. (Or dog. Or guinea pig.)

Our furry friends are major mood boosters. Research has shown that interacting with animals decreases levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and increases the feel-good hormone oxytocin. A special shout-out goes to the critters who get us outside. Dog walks can improve mood, support metabolism, and lead to neighborly chitchat.

Even caring for a goldfish can bolster well-being, according to a study published in the Journal of Pediatric Nursing. No wonder the National Institutes of Health has funded long-term, large-scale studies on the positive impact of pets on people’s health.

14) Place your hand on your heart.

Most babies like to be held when they’re upset. The same is true for adults, according to self-compassion expert Kristin Neff, PhD. “Our bodies respond to physical touch almost immediately,” she writes in Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive. “Touch taps into the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms and centers us.”

Neff recommends placing your hand over your heart when you’re noticeably dysregulated. If that feels too awkward, experiment with a hand on your cheek. The point is to send your body a straightforward message of comfort without getting too caught up in your thoughts.

15) Keep a self-compassion journal.

Neff suggests jotting down difficult moments from your day in a notebook before bed. Stick to the facts, such as, “Someone cut me off in traffic. I snapped at him and felt bad.”

Look for the most humane interpretation of ­everyone’s behavior, including your own: “That wasn’t great, but I’m only human. Plus, I skipped lunch and was hangry.”

Finally, write yourself a few words of encouragement and some proactive steps you might take in the future. Perhaps: “I messed up, but I’ll try to do better next time. And I will remember to eat lunch.”

a vase of flowers sits amongst dirty dishes

16) Treat yourself to the unexpected.

Beauty is a signal that life is not all toil and struggle, so try placing some loveliness where you least expect it — like flowers next to the kitchen sink, suggests Gill. “When you’re doing dishes, staring at something beautiful makes that kind of daunting task feel more approachable.”

17) Imagine yourself behind someone else’s ­steering wheel.

If you’re inclined to road rage, first try to have some compassion for yourself, advises Sofer. “Breathe. Recognize that getting angry is only agitating your own heart. Practice patience and letting go because it feels better in the long run than revving the engine of your nervous system.”

Then, he adds, try humanizing other drivers in your mind. “Maybe their parent or kid is in the hospital. Maybe they’re late to work and terrified they’ll lose their job. Try to have compassion for the state of mind that would lead someone to be inconsiderate or drive recklessly.”

18) Let go of a grudge.

Resentments drain our life energy. Letting them go helps us reclaim it. “We may have very good reasons for being angry and for the grudges we hold, but the inability to forgive hurts us,” writes happiness expert Christine Carter, PhD, in The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less.

“Forgiveness is not about denying wrongdoings; it’s about choosing positive emotions over negative ones.” Forgiveness also gets easier with practice, explains Carter. She suggests starting with small stuff. Write a letter of forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. (No need to send it unless you really want to.) Name the hurt and express how you wish things had gone differently. Then see if you can muster a little forgiveness, understanding, or empathy for the other person. Even a modest perspective shift can bring you more ease.

“Practice patience and letting go because it feels better in the long run than revving the engine of your nervous system.”

a woman laughs while sitting at her desk

19) Say thank you.

People who feel grateful tend to be happier, more enthusiastic, and more resilient to stress, studies have shown. “Relative to many other positive emotions, we have reams of research indicating that gratitude is part of the happiness Holy Grail,” writes Carter.

A daily gratitude practice can be as simple as making a list of life’s little riches in your head before you fall asleep — the warmth of your blankets, the safety of your home. Or you might try a gratitude exchange with a friend: Each day, trade an email or text listing three things for which you feel thankful. The more specific, the better. A daily practice of recounting the good in your world may help you notice more of it.

20) Throw yourself a one-minute dance party.

A study published in 2024 in The BMJ found that dancing tops yoga, strength training, and other forms of exercise when it comes to easing symptoms of depression. (For more on the benefits of movement for mental health, see “7 Ways Movement Benefits Mental Health.”) So shut your laptop, put on your favorite song, and dance like no one is watching. (Your cat is, but she’s cool with it.)

21) Take a good old-fashioned recess.

Carter recommends ­deploying a time-­tested elementary school practice: recess. After you’ve worked on a difficult task for 90 minutes, do something relaxing and rejuvenating or fun.

That may mean taking a quick nap, looking up recipes on Pinterest, or reading an article you’ve bookmarked. Carter’s only rule here is that it can’t be anything on a to-do list.

a woman reads a book

22) Slow down.

When life speeds up, try slowing down. Even a little. This alone can be a powerful act.

“We can learn to punctuate our day with small moments of presence, gratitude, and connection with life,” says Sofer. “When you rise, before a meal, when you leave your home, take a moment to attend to the mystery and uncertainty of being alive. Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Instead of trying to do anything, just receive the unlikely gift of being here on this planet.”

This article originally appeared as “Lighten Your Mood” in the May/June 2025 issue of Experience Life.

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4 Types of Meditation, Explained https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/4-types-of-meditation-explained/ Tue, 22 Apr 2025 13:00:01 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=117267 Life Time experts break down various forms of meditation and offer tips for cultivating a successful practice.

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Many people turn to meditation to reduce stress, sharpen focus, and boost their emotional well-being — benefits that feel essential when their lives become too busy or overwhelming. And while the concept of meditation may seem simple — sit still, breathe, be present — there are actually several different kinds, each with their own techniques and goals.

To help you learn more about a few popular types of meditation and perhaps discover the varieties that best resonate with you, we tapped a few of our meditation experts at Life Time to explain them. You can find guided meditations in the Life Time app.

1. Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness meditation centers on creating present-moment awareness, which you might do by focusing on your breath. As thoughts and feelings arise, as they inevitably do, you gently bring your attention back to your breathing. This type of meditation can reduce stress and anxiety as well as improve concentration.

“These types of mindful moments help create intentional space in your day,” says David Freeman, CPT, CCP, PES, senior director of signature coach excellence, cohost of the Life Time Talks podcast, and guided meditation teacher for Life Time. “Whether you’re looking to let go of what’s weighing you down, hit the reset button on your mindset, or become more aware of your internal dialogue, making space for moments like this can support your overall well-being.”

Taking time for mindfulness can help you find balance between your inner experience and the outer world, adds Rob Glick, senior director of group fitness programming and innovation and guided meditation teacher at Life Time. “Mindfulness and intentional awareness practices guide you to fully inhabit each moment with acceptance and clarity,” he says.

2. Gratitude Meditation

Gratitude meditation is a practice focused on cultivating a sense of appreciation for all the aspects of life — big or small — that bring you joy, comfort, or meaning. This style of meditation invites you to actively reflect on what you’re thankful for and can boost your mood, increase optimism, and strengthen emotional resilience.

“Gratitude reflections are a powerful way to pause and acknowledge and express appreciation for what’s good,” says Freeman.

Regular moments of intentional gratitude may help bring awareness to what makes your life meaningful and increase your happiness level, as well as the rate at which you can rebound during tough times. “When you’re feeling good — and even when you’re not — a gratitude meditation allows you to focus on what you love or are happy about within yourself, in your community, and in the world,” adds Tory Schaefer, director of national yoga operations and guided meditation teacher for Life Time.

3. Soundscape and Sound Bath Meditation

Soundscapes and sound bath meditations involve ambient sounds, such as nature sounds or certain types of music or instruments. The goal is to simply listen and allow the sound to guide you into a state of relaxation.

“When creating these types of meditations, I incorporate sounds of nature that I’ve recorded on my travels along with sound bath instrumentation, like quartz singing bowls, koshi chimes, flutes, and binaural beats,” Schaefer explains.

“Each type of sound offers varying benefits,” he adds. “Sounds of nature promote a sense of calm and reduce stress, while connecting the listener to their own inner state of nature. Quartz singing bowls stimulate Alpha and Theta brainwaves, which can promote feelings of groundedness, compassion, and forgiveness. The flute encourages introspection and emotional release, while binaural beats entrain the mind to promote deep relaxation and enhance creativity and intuition.”

4. Moving Meditation

Meditation doesn’t have to mean sitting still — it can take other forms. If you find it difficult to be still, a simple mindful walk can count as meditating. Movement meditations combine gentle, intentional physical movement with mindful awareness.

Mindful movement is amazingly good for the soul,” says Schaefer. “Experience every step, sound, and smell on your walk. Make time for yoga or tai chi or simply turn up the music and dance in your kitchen.”

5 Tips for Starting a Meditation Practice

Like any new habit, beginning a meditation practice takes patience, consistency, and a bit of trial and error to discover what works best for you. Here, our experts offer a few of their top tips for setting yourself up for success.

1. Set the tone.

“Find a quiet, comfortable space that invites stillness. Light, sound, and scent can all play a role in helping you focus and relax.” — Freeman

“Create a dedicated space that feels peaceful to you — but remember, you can meditate anywhere. Be sure to find comfortable seating that supports your posture.” — Glick

“Meditate in a space that you want to be in. I like to light some incense or have a scent that brings a smile to my face.” — Schaefer

2. Start small and keep it simple.

“You don’t need a long session to feel the benefits. Start with just five minutes each day.” — Glick

“My guided meditation recordings in the Life Time app are all within three to five minutes and are on the topic of purpose. That can be all you need.” — Freeman.

3. Anchor it to a routine.

“Find a time in your regular routine where meditation fits in well. It could be right away in the morning, post-workout, or right before bed — whatever works best for your flow. This is a key tip to staying consistent.” — Freeman

4. Be present, not perfect.

“Approach your practice with kindness — meditation isn’t about perfection but rather presence. Every time you notice your mind wandering and gently return to your focus, that’s the practice working.” — Glick

“Some days our minds just want to wander. That’s part of the process. Just gently return to your breath or the prompt of the meditation.” — Freeman

5. Keep showing up.

“Consistency is key to any mindfulness practice. The more you meditate, the less reactive to stress you’ll become and the more benefits you’ll experience.” — Schaefer

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6 Fitness Experts Share Their Favorite Ways to Practice Self-Care https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/article/6-fitness-experts-share-their-favorite-ways-to-practice-self-care/ Fri, 21 Feb 2025 14:00:22 +0000 https://experiencelife.lifetime.life/?post_type=article&p=112790 Gather inspiration for your self-care routine by learning how some of our instructors prioritize their personal wellness.

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“Self-care” is a term that’s often misunderstood — partly because there are so many ways to incorporate it into your life. Each of us may have different activities, regimens, or rituals that provide that feeling of caring for ourselves. But what if you haven’t yet found anything that feels right for you? Where do you start?

Therein lies the beauty of a wellness community: We can learn and find inspiration from each other by sharing ideas and offering suggestions that open the door to new possibilities.

With that in mind, we asked four of our group fitness performers at Life Time to share how they regularly practice self-care. We hope a few of them resonate with you.

Committing to 30-Day Challenges

— Jayme Zylstra, executive producer for digital fitness content at Life Time

At the beginning of every year, I set my intentions and create a vision board. This year, I decided to break my goals down into 30-day challenges, so I have a new goal to go after each month. I did this 10 years ago and thought, What a great time to bring it back!

For the month of January, for example, I completed a 5K every day. The hardest part was not the 5K itself, but rather that I aimed to do at least 15 of the days outside in the bitter cold of Minnesota!

Challenging myself to complete goals in this way motivates me to do things that are beneficial to my health (like more daily steps!), while also helping me feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Moving With Family

— David Freeman, CPT, CCP, PES, senior director of Alpha and cohost of the Life Time Talks podcast

I reaffirm my dedication to health and fitness every day by doing workouts alongside my family. My wife, Mechelle, is an Olympian and Olympic coach who also is very dedicated to movement and wellness, and we have two children, Bayne, 11, and Harley, 9. During the summer we work out in the early morning; during the school year we work out in the afternoons.

We often get after it in our garage gym, where my kids follow their sport-specific exercises while I do my own training nearby. It creates a shared energy and keeps us motivated. We also enjoy going to open turf fields together to dial in on areas the kids are developing to get them ready for game day. Sometimes, we also do full family workouts focusing on exercises that everyone can do, like bodyweight movements or speed and agility drills.

Even though we work out individually, being in the same space connects us. It’s less about doing the exact same thing and more about building consistency and elevating each other’s growth.

My commitment to movement remains central to my life. As a coach and mentor to other athletes, I often emphasize its importance not just for physical health, but also for creating connections and support. In my mind, there’s almost nothing better than strengthening the connections I have with my kids and my wife through movement. As a bonus, it’s helping my children build healthy habits too.

Making Time for Socialization

— Marcus Fitts, cycle instructor at Life Time Buckhead in Atlanta, Ga.

It’s easy to get caught up in my nonstop cycle of coaching, programming, and preparing for classes. But making time for friends and loved ones outside of the club is just as important as what I’m doing inside of it.

Whether it’s a casual dinner, game night, or an outdoor adventure, connecting with others socially recharges my spirit and reminds me that we’re more than just our profession. Surrounding myself with positive, uplifting people strengthens both my mental and emotional well-being.

Meditating Regularly

— Jayme Zylstra

Last year I began a journey of completing my 300-hour yoga teacher training, and part of those 300 hours was meditating for 60 minutes, three days a week. This turned out to be the greatest gift, the greatest learning, and the best opportunity to sit with myself and listen to my heart, my thoughts, and my feelings that came up.

I have now made it a practice and priority to meditate three times per week for 60 minutes each. When I do this, my thoughts become clearer, and my worries become less.

If you are just beginning your meditation journey, the Life Time app offers many meditations to choose from with various instructors, times, and focuses. I highly suggest checking it out and seeing how it can help you simply be.

Regular Recharging

— Danica Osborn, group instructor and coach at Life Time in Warrenville, Ill.

In the same way I recharge my phone, I need to recharge my own battery — that’s why I feel self-care is so important. One of my favorite ways to recharge is with a soak in my bathtub — doors locked, music on, drink poured, and mama is ‘off the clock’! I love sitting in there until my toes are wrinkly!

Expressing Gratitude

— Joshua Neal, studio leader at Life Time North Druid Hills in Atlanta, Ga.

Perhaps the most important part of my self-care practice is gratitude. I always start and end my day with gratitude — taking a moment to reflect on what I’m thankful for. It shifts my mindset to one of appreciation and positivity, helping me stay centered and resilient throughout the day.

Morning Movement

— Jayme Zylstra

I preach that movement is medicine, so working out five days a week is a nonnegotiable for me (seven days is a blessing!). I love to start my days with a minimum of 30 minutes of either cardio or strength-training workouts. Setting a shorter duration, like 30 minutes, makes my goal feel attainable — and if I do more, I feel as if I conquered more than I expected.

The on-demand and live-streaming classes have made it so incredibly easy for me to not miss a day. When I’m traveling or can’t make it to the club, I can still get the Life Time energy by going to the Life Time app and finding my favorite class or instructor.

Daily Walks

— Lindsay Payne, yoga boutique leader at Life Time in Edina, Minn.

I believe self-care is essential for living a vibrant life. One way I practice self-care is by enjoying long walks outdoors almost every day. It’s a great way to move my body, get fresh air, be in nature, and spend time with my dogs.

Caring for Skin and Hair

— Marcus Fitts

Constant movement, sweat, and exposure to different environments can take a toll on my skin and hair. A solid self-care routine in these areas isn’t about vanity: For me, it’s about feeling confident, staying healthy, and practicing self-respect.

I love indulging in a full, daily skincare routine. I exfoliate and cleanse, then apply toner, moisturizer, and SPF. Visiting an esthetician to get professional treatments tailored to my skin’s needs has also been a game-changer in maintaining my skin’s health and glow. Seeing my skin radiant and refreshed gives me a sense of confidence that I carry into every class I teach.

Haircare is just as, if not more, important to me. I visit the salon and barbershop weekly to maintain my hair’s health. I prefer to start with a hair appointment at the salon followed by a visit to the barbershop to complete my look. My regular haircare routine includes shampoo and conditioner; I typically choose a protective style (twist or braids) that lasts throughout the week. At the barbershop, I get both my hair and beard tended to, ensuring a sharp and polished appearance.

Switching up my hairstyle feels like putting on a brand-new outfit — it’s an instant confidence boost that leaves me feeling empowered.

Having a Workout Partner

— Joshua Neal

Physically, I take care of my body through teaching classes, which helps me stay active while also allowing me to inspire others to prioritize their fitness as well.

In addition to the connection and motivation I get through classes, I also have a workout buddy who motivates me to push myself and stay consistent. Working out together brings a sense of camaraderie, and it’s always more enjoyable to do with someone by my side.

Practicing Intentionality

— David Freeman

I find self-care can be activated through reflection and personal growth, so I take time to assess my experiences and challenges, allowing myself to learn from them.

For me, reflection is an intentional part of my daily routine, which starts with prayer and gratitude each morning. During this time, I center myself, express thanks for where I am, and reflect on what’s going well and where I can improve. It’s a moment to ground myself and align my focus for the day ahead.

I then take the insights from this reflection and translate them into purposeful action — whether that’s being more present with my family, leading with clarity to those I’m coaching in Alpha, or staying consistent in my personal and professional growth. It’s about starting the day with intention and carrying that energy forward.

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