Most of us long for a better relationship with our body. Maybe you want to eat better but find it hard to make changes. Or you can’t seem to get yourself off the couch to exercise. Perhaps you judge your body as too old, too fat, too small, too awkward, too whatever, and you let these thoughts limit what you do physically. Maybe you are so focused on looking a certain way that you have become disembodied. Or perhaps you spend so much time in your head — analyzing, problem-solving, and getting your work done — that you forget about your body altogether.

Your body has its own genius — an incredible ability to maintain balance, heal itself, and adapt to internal and external challenges. It operates complex systems like hormones and blood sugar, fights off infections, and repairs cell damage, all while adjusting to the rhythms of your daily life. An endocrinologist once told me she’d rather fly a 747 with no training than try to run a pancreas — it’s that complex and amazing.

A wise relationship with your body is an embodied one. Embodiment means inhabiting your body, understanding and responding to physical sensations, and expressing yourself physically. It gives you an authentic, powerful presence.

Think about people you’ve met who seem truly “embodied” —­ the way they confidently walk into a room, dance with their eyes closed, or intuitively place a hand on their chest when something moves them deeply. It’s a grounded confidence, a connection between body and mind.

When do you feel most embodied? Is it during a workout, while tossing a football with your kids, or when laughing with friends? It might show up in moments of strength, creativity, or connection —­ doing physical labor, being outside, moving to music, or having sex.

Embodiment isn’t just physical; it’s how you inhabit your life. Do you feel like you are “in” your body? Are you aware of what’s happening inside you?

Embodiment begins with curiosity — specifically with getting curious about your body’s signals. If your body could tell you what it’s been like to be your body, what would it say? What would your stomach say? Your thighs? Your eyes? And what would these body parts say they need from you?

Try this for yourself. Take a piece of paper and title it “A Letter From My Body.” Then let your body speak. What has it endured? What does it long for? Are there parts of you that feel neglected, exhausted, or unappreciated? Are there parts that you’ve criticized that might be asking for compassion?

Once you’ve written your letter, read it to yourself. Let your body’s message sink in. If you feel inspired, write a response —­ one of understanding, kindness, and commitment to treating your body differently.

Pay Deep Attention

An important step in embodiment is developing interoception — the ability to sense what’s happening inside your body. This internal awareness includes noticing your heartbeat, breath, hunger, and energy level.

But interoception isn’t just a body-­awareness tool; it’s a life-­awareness tool. Research links it to improved mental health, more mindful eating habits, and better decision-­making.

Even in high-­stakes environments, interoception plays a critical role. Stock-­market traders with stronger awareness of their heartbeat make better trades and earn more money. Even therapists who can better sense their own physiological changes can better detect and respond to client distress.

My doctoral research focused on interoceptive awareness of appetite signals —­ helping individuals struggling with eating and weight concerns reconnect with their hunger and fullness cues. It’s fascinating, and a little heartbreaking, that we have to relearn something that came so naturally to us as kids. But it’s not surprising when you consider how much our modern environment pulls us away from our bodies.

Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, coined the term “screen apnea” to describe the phenomenon in which we tend to breathe more shallowly or even hold our breath when using screens.

Linda Stone, a former Microsoft executive, coined the term “screen apnea” to describe the phenomenon in which we tend to breathe more shallowly or even hold our breath when using screens. Stone did some kitchen-­table science (not randomized or controlled) on the topic and found that 80 percent of the colleagues and friends she tested had shallow or suspended breathing while working on a screen. The clincher? Those 20 percent who didn’t show screen apnea were folks who tended to be pretty embodied — dancers, singers, a triathlete, and a cellist.

Since screens are an unavoidable part of life, the wise response isn’t to resist them but to create reminders to stay present in your body. Something as simple as a Post-­it note on your screen saying Breathe or Check in can help you look up, take a deep breath, and reconnect with yourself.

Or you could write the acronym HEART. It covers a lot of the bases of interoception:

• Hunger: Am I hungry or full?
• Emotion: What emotions do I feel in my body right now?
• Activity: Is my body craving physical movement?
• Rest: Am I tired or low on energy?
• Tension: Do I notice stress, pain, or tightness anywhere?

HEART is a quick mental check-­in that helps you scan your body for its most essential signals: hunger, movement, emotions, fatigue, and stress. From there, you can respond with whatever meets the need — a snack, a stretch, a nap, a phone call to a friend, or some self-­massage.

Your body is always talking to you. What is it saying? Do you need a big sigh? To release some tension in your neck? To head outside for a walk? Try HEART right now. When you open to your body’s sensations, you also open to its intuition. Maybe your body is whispering something bigger than just its need for a rest — maybe ­it’s telling you it’s time to take a different life path.

Open Up to Intuition

Intuition is a felt sense, a nudge, that gives you clues about a situation, decision, or person. For years, during my struggles with disordered eating, I wasn’t just disconnected from my body’s physical signals —­ I had also shut down my inner knowing. I cut myself off from what I wanted, longed for, knew in my heart was true for me. In my recovery journey, and in my work with clients, I’ve found that when we start listening to our bodies, we hear more than just I’m hungry or I’m tired. We begin to receive deeper messages:

• I need to say no to this, even though everyone is telling me to say yes.
• Something feels off.
• I’m being pulled toward something new.

Tuning in to my body’s wisdom has guided some of my biggest life decisions. It nudged me to say yes to a first date with my husband. It encouraged me to lead retreats, even when I wasn’t sure I was ready. It shapes how I parent my kids. But learning to trust this knowing didn’t happen overnight. I had to consciously open up to my body and practice listening.

Over the years, I’ve developed a simple way to access my intuition: checking in for a whole-body yes or a whole-body no when making decisions.

A whole-body yes feels expansive, clear, even energizing. A whole-body no, on the other hand, comes with tension.

A whole-body yes feels expansive, clear, even energizing. A whole-body no, on the other hand, comes with tension:­ I feel it in my clenched stomach or tight shoulders. I’ve learned the hard way that when I override a whole-body no, I pay the price later. I am stuck in things I don’t really want to do, and it depletes my energy. But intuition doesn’t have to work alone. Once you check in with your body, you can cross-reference with other sources of wisdom:

• Trusted friends and family: Get perspective from people who know you well.
• Experts and evidence: Seek guidance from those with experience or research in the area.
• Problem-­solving mind: Use logic and critical thinking to analyze the situation.

When these sources align with your body’s knowing, you can trust that you’re making a wise, informed decision.

Science has a complicated relationship with intuition. Some researchers warn that while intuition can be fast and efficient, it’s also prone to biases and errors — especially in complex situations requiring careful analysis. But that doesn’t mean we should dismiss it entirely.

Rather, we can view intuition as a powerful decision-making tool when balanced with wisdom. Like any skill, it improves with practice and reflection. So before making a choice, pause and ask yourself: Is this a whole-body yes? Is this a whole-body no?

Then, give yourself the space to settle into a wise answer.

We were born connected to our bodies, inhabiting them fully, trusting them, and using them to communicate and experience pleasure. At some point in life, for a variety of reasons, many of us lose this loving connection and our ability to inhabit our bodies fully. Now is your chance to reclaim the energy that comes with being embodied. You can use wise effort to care for your body and enjoy this lifelong, ever-­changing adventure. Listen for the whole-­body yes, and your genius body will show you the way.

This excerpt is from Diana Hill’s book Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most(September 2025) and is reprinted with permission from Sounds True.

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Many of our morning routines are constants throughout the year. You may, for instance, always drink water before ingesting anything else, engage in certain movements to wake the body, or journal to engage the mind. Perhaps you make it a point to avoid the news until you’ve had a cup of coffee.

Beyond these essentials, though, your specific morning needs may evolve and fluctuate with the seasons. “Each season brings its own unique shifts in light, temperature, moisture, food availability, phytochemical profiles, and environmental stressors,” says Deanna Minich, PhD, CNS, IFMCP, a functional-medicine nutritionist, educator, and author based in Port Orchard, Wash.

She notes that these changes, no matter how subtle, affect our physiology. “By syncing our daily habits — especially how we start the day — with the cues nature provides, we support greater vitality, mental clarity, and adaptability.”

Natasha Ivantsova, founder of Glow Yoga and Wellness in San Francisco, adds that one of the keys to long-term wellness is honoring how our energy shifts — and adjusting our workouts accordingly. Each season has its own rhythm, she says, both in how our bodies feel and how motivated we are to move. Honoring these rhythm changes allows you to show up with more ease, stay physically and mentally balanced, and build strength and resilience year-round — without burnout.

AUTUMN // Consistency

Autumn is a time of transition and preparation, says Minich. “As daylight shortens and temperatures drop, the body and mind begin to turn inward.” She suggests adapting your morning routine to align with a back-to-school energy, since we’re conditioned for more structure after a busy summer.

Kali Higgins, an integrative health and wellness practitioner in Stillwater, Minn., who offers astrology readings and Ayurvedic-lifestyle coaching, says the wind is a prominent feature in the fall that can kick up anxiety. “Our energy is more scattered and vulnerable,” she says. Keep your morning routine simple and stick to it to provide consistency.

Consider these ideas for an autumn morning routine:

MEDITATION: Focus on connecting breath with movement. Build lung capacity by increasing your inhalation. Structured meditation with a mantra is helpful, too, Higgins says.

INTROSPECTION: The natural world is going dormant and preparing for winter’s rest. Take a few minutes in the morning to journal: Reckon with what you’ve accomplished during the year, take stock of what you have left, and lean into gratitude for the present moment. (Try one of these embodiment practices to get out of your head and into the present.)

ATMOSPHERE: Add gentle sensory inputs like a steam bath or self-massage. “Playing calming music in the background or applying essential oils like eucalyptus behind the ears and on the neck can promote immune support,” Minich says.

NUTRITION: “Work to reduce caffeine, sugar, drugs, alcohol, or any sort of stimulant in your life,” Higgins suggests. Start eating warmer foods, sipping herbal teas, and cooking with healing spices.

MOVEMENT: “Fall is when people tend to crave routine again,” says Ivantsova. “There’s a deeper need for growth and focus.” She recommends turning your attention to contemplative practices and finding ways to solidify your daily self-care schedule. Core and strength work may be particularly supportive.

ENERGY: “Because the wind element can trigger worry and nervous energy, give that windy energy something to do,” Higgins says. “Turn it into excitement and inspiration.” Practice overcoming fears, insecurities, and anxieties, or work on creative endeavors. Read books that foster creativity and imagination.

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“Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively,” writes renowned mindfulness teacher Sharon Salzberg in her 2010 New York Times best-selling book, Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation. If only I turned to meditation as willingly and as frequently as I reach for my actual mobile device.

The reality is, of all the healthy-living habits we write about in Experience Life, this is the one I’ve had the most trouble making part of my routine. Though it’s not for lack of trying.

Over the past 20 years, I’ve repeatedly attempted to adopt a meditation practice. I’ve bought books with daily prompts, downloaded apps with chimes and timers, and put reminders on my phone. For whatever reason, it hasn’t stuck.

Wake up bright and early five mornings a week to work out? No problem. Take my vitamins and supplements like clockwork? Done. Maintain a decent sleep schedule? I’ve got that covered too (at least most of the time).

It’s not for lack of awareness about meditation’s many benefits. In these pages of Experience Life and elsewhere, I’ve learned how a meditation practice can help us develop focus, mindfulness, greater compassion and empathy, and other skills. Mentally and physically, it can help reduce anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, and boost immunity.

So what’s the deal with my resistance?

I think it comes down to accountability. I’m typically not doing my other health-supportive habits on my own. Connection and community — in some form or another — keep me on track.

Meditation is truly a solo endeavor, and when I’m accountable only to myself, I tend to let good habits slip. I’m aiming to change that this spring.

But meditation is truly a solo endeavor, and when I’m accountable only to myself, I tend to let good habits slip. I’m aiming to change that this spring.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month — the inspiration for this issue’s “Find Your Peace” theme.  So I’m recommitting to prioritizing my mental well-being. Just as strength training is one of the tools I use to build my fitness, meditation will be a resource for supporting my emotional health.

I’ll start small, with just five minutes a day.  And, alongside thousands of others, I’ll follow the guidance of the four-week mindfulness challenge in the Life Time app (free for everyone). Checking that box on the daily schedule — and knowing I’m not the only one doing so — might just be the motivation I need to finally make this habit stick.

In this busy phase of life, I’ll also look for moments to slow down and just be. It might be dabbing an essential oil on my wrist and taking a few minutes to breathe. It might be devoting five minutes of my morning run to listening to the birds chirp. It might be breaking down a project into smaller parts so it feels more feasible. You get the picture. (For more ideas, see “7 Ways Movement Benefits Mental Health” and “22 Ways to Lighten Your Mood.”)

It’s all about taking the time to care for myself amid all the other to-dos. Even if it’s just five minutes, it’s something. And that’s way better than nothing.

This article originally appeared as “Take Five” in the May/June 2025 issue of Experience Life. 

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Oliver Burkeman is an expert in contrarian consolation. He’s also a former columnist at The Guardian and the author of several books that offer antidotes to the excesses of self-help culture. “Excesses” here meaning the promise offered by many books and podcasts that we can learn to be wildly productive, perfectly calm, and totally on top of things at some future date, if only we follow their formulas.

Many of us are suckers for these. Yet somehow, those ideas rarely seem to cross over from fantasy to reality.

Burkeman takes the opposite approach. Rather than teasing us with techniques that promise to turn us into productivity wizards, his titles — Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and his newest, Meditations for Mortals — put the reality of our limited time front and center. (Because we’re all going to die, this focus also gives his work broad demographic appeal.)

Burkeman’s gentle reminders of our finitude add up to a bracing call to action: We may as well do that thing we’ve been waiting to do, imperfectly and now-ish, rather than continue to waste precious time pursuing a mirage of perfection.

Meditations for Mortals is structured as a four-week retreat for readers, with 28 daily reflections on this reality-based approach to life. Burkeman recently shared with us some of the central ideas of his latest book.

Q&A With Oliver Burkeman

Experience Life | What is imperfectionism?

Oliver Burkeman | Imperfection­ism is my umbrella term for the approach to life that I’m trying to describe in the book — one I hope to embody myself someday. It begins with accepting our limitations.

Our time is finite. There will always be too much to do. We will never be able to know the future. We can only understand a limited amount about what’s going on in the world. I wanted a name for the idea that says, OK, these limits are our reality. Now, how do we act in it? How do we do constructive, meaningful, difference-making things in it? Can we start from our lack of control and act anyway?

EL | You suggest the idea of “getting on top of things” is mainly fantasy.

OB | There’s a pretty universal desire to get to some future point at which life is all smooth sailing. And there’s plenty of productivity advice that suggests you can someday become efficient enough to handle everything that comes your way.

Yet the universe of meaningful things is much vaster than my individual bandwidth. It’s impossible for me to ever get to everything that matters to me. Realizing this can be quite relaxing. I describe this as the liberation of realizing that it’s worse than you thought.

EL | What happens when we realize that we’ll never get everything done?

OB | If you believe that getting on top of everything is difficult but somehow possible, that’s an agonizing way to live. But if you understand that getting completely on top of things is not just difficult but impossible, that may offer a relief; it’s hard to beat yourself up for not doing something that you understand you can never do.

This frees up your energy to do a few things that really count. You become absorbed in the things that you’re doing rather than seeing them only as stepping­stones to a place of ultimate control. You get to stop postponing life.

EL | What do you say to someone who’s afraid that slowing down will destroy their productivity?

OB | This notion that we’ve got to go hard at ourselves or we’ll completely slack off is not usually true. I do understand the panic in that question —  the worry that you have to keep going at a breakneck pace because good results have come from it before.

If you can allow yourself to unclench a little bit, slacking off is not what happens — at least not in my experience. Not only do you continue doing things but you do them with more energy and focus. You do things better because you’re no longer trying to spread your attention over absolutely everything.

EL | How does imperfectionism address the fear of failure?

OB | What imperfectionism says to worry is this: You will certainly get life wrong. If your goal was to do something completely perfectly, or to never waste a moment or disappoint a single person, it’s too late. That ship has sailed.

When you’re trying not to be a flawed human, you hold back. But you already are a flawed human. I find that thought motivating! If I’m already imperfect, then why not do the thing? This is definitely a contrarian form of consolation, but that’s what works for me.

EL | How might imperfectionism help us make better choices?

OB | We spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make decisions that don’t cause any distress. But if we can accept that such consequences are unavoidable, every difficult decision becomes a question of weighing them.

Changing the time of a meeting may annoy your colleagues, but you choose to tolerate that so you can pick up your child from school. Or you accept the near-term agony of leaving an unhappy marriage to avoid the long-term suffering of staying. It’s about asking yourself which problem you want to have. There’s no way to have zero problems.

EL | What is scruffy hospitality?

OB | The phrase comes from the Anglican priest Jack King. He and his wife loved entertaining guests, but they also had this onerous checklist of tasks to complete before they’d have anyone over. So they decided to just invite people around and say, “This is how the house is, this is what we have in our cupboards, and this is what we’ve cooked for you.”

In my experience, this might mean you slightly apologetically invite people into a house that’s messy and serve them a bowl of spaghetti with tomato sauce, then find you’re more relaxed and connected than if you’d overprepared.

We put a lot of effort into maintaining our façades; sometimes that’s unavoidable. But whenever you lower them a little bit, you let people into your real life.

This is not just about dinner parties. It’s also about sharing our feelings and our failures. You’re saying that if you invite me around to your house, you don’t need to make it pristine first. And that if you’re ever feeling in a despondent mood when we hang out, you’re allowed to tell me about it.

EL | What is resonance?

OB | This comes from German social theorist Hartmut Rosa. He uses the example of a first snowfall of winter. It feels magical because it’s a gift; it isn’t something you could go out and get. It wouldn’t feel meaningful if it was a snow machine generating fake snow.

A relationship to the world that allows for resonance is, on some level, antithetical to control. We invite resonance when we aren’t trying to force life to unfold on our terms.

It’s not that all control is bad — to be completely at the mercy of your circumstances is horrifying. But you can be in a relationship with the world that’s more of a dance. You have agency and you do things, then you wait and see how the world responds.

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The dishes are piled up, the bills are overdue, and you’re stewing over a spat with your partner. Your phone’s pinging nonstop: texts, headlines, spam. You haven’t exercised in days, and you don’t know when you’ll next have time.

Many of us feel the weight of everyday overwhelm. But if we try to overhaul our lives all at once — relationships, finances, and spiritual outlook — we’re likely to end up feeling even more defeated and distant from the relief we’re seeking. Then we blame ourselves.

“When our results fall short of our expectations, the inner critic finds an opening and steps on stage,” writes behavior scientist BJ Fogg, PhD, in Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything.

The problem isn’t our desire for change; it’s the scale of change we’re pursuing. Fogg’s book shows readers, step by step, how to get around that impasse and improve their lives by focusing on tiny changes.

“You could scold yourself down the path of change,” writes Fogg, who founded Stanford University’s Behavior Design Lab. “Or you could make your life easier. You could start tiny.”

Taking small, intentional actions reminds us that we still have some agency and control, an important antidote to overwhelm.

“It boosts your mental health. It boosts how you’re able to show up and provide for other people,” explains home-organizing expert Shira Gill, ­author of LifeStyled: Your Guide to a More Organized and Intentional Life.

The next time you feel bogged down, try one of these strategies. Each can remind you there is something positive you can do in the moment, no matter how helpless you might feel.

As Fogg notes, “Feeling successful offers an antidote to the go-big-or-go-home culture, and a new lens through which to see yourself.”

1) Declutter small spaces.

Clutter can make us anxious — and so can berating ourselves for not having the energy to clean our entire home. Small acts of tidying, meanwhile, can feel satisfying.

“Pick one room, put blinders on, and black out the rest of your home,” suggests Gill. “Within that room, tackle one microspace at a time so you can actually see the progress.”

If your entire living space feels like a disaster, she suggests focusing on one individual mess, like a stack of papers. “Tell yourself, I’m going to go through the papers. Then I’m going to set up a mail basket by our entry so we no longer have to see the piles overtaking our kitchen counter. That’s a little win that’s final,” she says.

2) Unclog your inbox.

Digital clutter can be as stressful as physical clutter, but parting with old emails can be uniquely difficult.

University of California, Los Angeles, clinical professor of psychiatry Emanuel Maidenberg, PhD, offers this behavior-change blueprint for support: Schedule a specific time for your digital declutter — and allocate about 15 minutes a day to the task. Start by deleting the oldest items in your inbox. Work toward the present. Notice your shoulders getting lighter as each old email disappears. That last part is important.

“Once you start experiencing relief, things become much easier,” says Maidenberg. This feeling will motivate you to keep going.

(Here are more tips and strategies to help you organize your desktop, laptop and mobile devices.)

3) Choose a “15-minute win.”

Pick a task you’re resisting: paying a bill, returning an email, cleaning the refrigerator. “These are things that feel overwhelming but take much less time than you think,” says Gill.

After choosing your target, apply the “15-­minute win” formula: Silence your devices. Set a timer for 15 minutes. Then roll up your sleeves and get ­cracking.

Once you’ve recovered from the shock that your dreaded task required 15 minutes or less of your time, give yourself a little reward. This acts as a bargaining chip for your brain, as Gill puts it.

(Help overcome procrastination by learning more about Morita Therapy, a therapy that offers a philosophical, tough-love approach to undoing your own undoings.)

4) Give yourself a high-five.

Good feelings spur the release of dopamine, which reinforces positive behaviors. “What happens in your brain when you experience positive reinforcement isn’t magic — it’s neurochemical,” Fogg writes. “Feeling successful helps us wire in new habits, and it motivates us to do more.”

So, the next time you have a triumph, no matter how tiny, congratulate yourself. If happy dances are your thing, do one. Or say, loudly and with feeling: “Yes!” Or give yourself a high-five. Whatever form of self-celebration works for you is the right one.

5) Cultivate “pearl habits.”

Oysters create pearls in response to irritants; Fogg suggests humans try doing the same.

Consider this adaptation of one of his pearl habits exercises: Make a list of your top pet peeves — on-hold music, long lines, your neighbor’s leaf blower. Pick one. (Definitely the leaf blower.) Choose a positive action that can counterbalance your irritation.

For instance: ­Whenever I hear the leaf blower, I will put on my noise-canceling headphones and tidy up my desktop. When you complete the positive action, give yourself a mental high-five to reinforce the behavior. See if your irritation subsides. Either way, your desk will be cleaner.

6) Pause your purchasing.

For one month, avoid all unnecessary purchases. Verging on a splurge? Jot down how you feel. “This reflection can help identify the shopping triggers,” says Gill. These are often anxiety, loneliness, or boredom.

Sitting with the urge to buy an unnecessary thing can also help you pinpoint the deeper needs you’re trying to satisfy, she continues. “Then you can work on meeting them.”

To relieve boredom, you could get some exercise, connect with a friend, or switch up your focus.

7) Lace up your sneakers and head outside.

There’s a reason the “take a walk” cure never goes out of style. “If you have 20 minutes and you go for a walk, you’re likely to have a much better outcome than anything else that you can do during these 20 minutes,” says Maidenberg.

8) Slow your scroll.

Many of us turn to social media when stressful thoughts take hold, aiming for a little light entertainment. It may feel like a quick fix, but “it also has a tendency to be habit-forming,” says Maidenberg.

One way to avoid losing hours to distraction: Set a timer for 15 minutes every time you log on. There are no built-in off-ramps for most forms of social media; a reminder ding will add one.

9) Moderate your news intake.

You can stay informed about politics and culture without being inundated. ­Maidenberg suggests seeking out “one or two neutral and reliable sources of information” and checking in once or twice a day for 10 minutes or so. “Limiting the amount of time is key,” he says.

Like social media, news sites are designed to be addictive, so we often find ourselves reading for far longer than we intended, he adds. “It’s just impossible to get to the point of thinking that I know everything.” If this is the case for you, it may be helpful to set a timer here, too.

10) Remember, you’re not alone.

It’s easy to feel isolated in our stress, but we’re rarely the only ones who feel as we do. “We live in a world whose demands, crises, and economic pressures breed anxiety, stress, and a kind of low-grade panic,” says Buddhist meditation teacher Oren Jay Sofer, author of Your Heart Was Made for This: Contemplative Practices for Meeting a World in Crisis With Courage, Integrity, and Love.

“These feelings are often healthy, normal reactions to the kind of overstimulation and pressure so many of us face,” he adds. “Remembering that a lot of us are struggling right now, we feel less alone.”

11) Redirect your attention.

Next time you find yourself entangled in worries about the future, try taking stock of your physical surroundings. “This isn’t about avoiding our problems or pretending everything’s OK, but rather choosing where we place our attention,” Sofer explains.

He suggests this sensory exercise: “Focus your attention on three things you can see, then three things you can hear, then three things you can touch. With each one, notice the actual sensations themselves. Listen to the melody rather than thinking bird. Feel the texture of the fabric rather than thinking pants. Keep cycling through the three senses in a slow, steady way until you begin to feel more oriented to the present.”

He suggests that once you’ve regained a calm perspective, ask yourself what, if anything, you can do to address the root cause of your overwhelm.

(Here are additional practices you can implore to help get out of your head and into the present.)

“We’re wired to enjoy giving. Being generous, being kind, serving — these acts have the power to transform our hearts and brighten our world.”

12) Do something kind.

Buy coffee for the person behind you in line. Compliment a stranger’s coat. Donate to a good cause. Listen wholeheartedly to a friend who needs to talk. Any small act of kindness will do.

A 2023 analysis of data from an ongoing project at the Greater Good Science Center found that people who performed “micro-acts of joy” for seven consecutive days experienced a 26 percent increase in their emotional well-being. (For more on microacts of joy, visit “7 Strategies to Create a Happiness Habit.”)

“We’re wired to enjoy giving,” explains Sofer. “Being generous, being kind, serving — these acts have the power to transform our hearts and brighten our world.” Shifting our focus to others can pull us out of the tendency to focus solely on our own problems, he adds.

 

13) Snuggle your cat. (Or dog. Or guinea pig.)

Our furry friends are major mood boosters. Research has shown that interacting with animals decreases levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and increases the feel-good hormone oxytocin. A special shout-out goes to the critters who get us outside. Dog walks can improve mood, support metabolism, and lead to neighborly chitchat.

Even caring for a goldfish can bolster well-being, according to a study published in the Journal of Pediatric Nursing. No wonder the National Institutes of Health has funded long-term, large-scale studies on the positive impact of pets on people’s health.

14) Place your hand on your heart.

Most babies like to be held when they’re upset. The same is true for adults, according to self-compassion expert Kristin Neff, PhD. “Our bodies respond to physical touch almost immediately,” she writes in Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive. “Touch taps into the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms and centers us.”

Neff recommends placing your hand over your heart when you’re noticeably dysregulated. If that feels too awkward, experiment with a hand on your cheek. The point is to send your body a straightforward message of comfort without getting too caught up in your thoughts.

15) Keep a self-compassion journal.

Neff suggests jotting down difficult moments from your day in a notebook before bed. Stick to the facts, such as, “Someone cut me off in traffic. I snapped at him and felt bad.”

Look for the most humane interpretation of ­everyone’s behavior, including your own: “That wasn’t great, but I’m only human. Plus, I skipped lunch and was hangry.”

Finally, write yourself a few words of encouragement and some proactive steps you might take in the future. Perhaps: “I messed up, but I’ll try to do better next time. And I will remember to eat lunch.”

16) Treat yourself to the unexpected.

Beauty is a signal that life is not all toil and struggle, so try placing some loveliness where you least expect it — like flowers next to the kitchen sink, suggests Gill. “When you’re doing dishes, staring at something beautiful makes that kind of daunting task feel more approachable.”

17) Imagine yourself behind someone else’s ­steering wheel.

If you’re inclined to road rage, first try to have some compassion for yourself, advises Sofer. “Breathe. Recognize that getting angry is only agitating your own heart. Practice patience and letting go because it feels better in the long run than revving the engine of your nervous system.”

Then, he adds, try humanizing other drivers in your mind. “Maybe their parent or kid is in the hospital. Maybe they’re late to work and terrified they’ll lose their job. Try to have compassion for the state of mind that would lead someone to be inconsiderate or drive recklessly.”

18) Let go of a grudge.

Resentments drain our life energy. Letting them go helps us reclaim it. “We may have very good reasons for being angry and for the grudges we hold, but the inability to forgive hurts us,” writes happiness expert Christine Carter, PhD, in The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less.

“Forgiveness is not about denying wrongdoings; it’s about choosing positive emotions over negative ones.” Forgiveness also gets easier with practice, explains Carter. She suggests starting with small stuff. Write a letter of forgiveness to someone who has wronged you. (No need to send it unless you really want to.) Name the hurt and express how you wish things had gone differently. Then see if you can muster a little forgiveness, understanding, or empathy for the other person. Even a modest perspective shift can bring you more ease.

“Practice patience and letting go because it feels better in the long run than revving the engine of your nervous system.”

19) Say thank you.

People who feel grateful tend to be happier, more enthusiastic, and more resilient to stress, studies have shown. “Relative to many other positive emotions, we have reams of research indicating that gratitude is part of the happiness Holy Grail,” writes Carter.

A daily gratitude practice can be as simple as making a list of life’s little riches in your head before you fall asleep — the warmth of your blankets, the safety of your home. Or you might try a gratitude exchange with a friend: Each day, trade an email or text listing three things for which you feel thankful. The more specific, the better. A daily practice of recounting the good in your world may help you notice more of it.

20) Throw yourself a one-minute dance party.

A study published in 2024 in The BMJ found that dancing tops yoga, strength training, and other forms of exercise when it comes to easing symptoms of depression. (For more on the benefits of movement for mental health, see “7 Ways Movement Benefits Mental Health.”) So shut your laptop, put on your favorite song, and dance like no one is watching. (Your cat is, but she’s cool with it.)

21) Take a good old-fashioned recess.

Carter recommends ­deploying a time-­tested elementary school practice: recess. After you’ve worked on a difficult task for 90 minutes, do something relaxing and rejuvenating or fun.

That may mean taking a quick nap, looking up recipes on Pinterest, or reading an article you’ve bookmarked. Carter’s only rule here is that it can’t be anything on a to-do list.

22) Slow down.

When life speeds up, try slowing down. Even a little. This alone can be a powerful act.

“We can learn to punctuate our day with small moments of presence, gratitude, and connection with life,” says Sofer. “When you rise, before a meal, when you leave your home, take a moment to attend to the mystery and uncertainty of being alive. Breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Instead of trying to do anything, just receive the unlikely gift of being here on this planet.”

This article originally appeared as “Lighten Your Mood” in the May/June 2025 issue of Experience Life.

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“Self-care” is a term that’s often misunderstood — partly because there are so many ways to incorporate it into your life. Each of us may have different activities, regimens, or rituals that provide that feeling of caring for ourselves. But what if you haven’t yet found anything that feels right for you? Where do you start?

Therein lies the beauty of a wellness community: We can learn and find inspiration from each other by sharing ideas and offering suggestions that open the door to new possibilities.

With that in mind, we asked four of our group fitness performers at Life Time to share how they regularly practice self-care. We hope a few of them resonate with you.

Committing to 30-Day Challenges

— Jayme Zylstra, executive producer for digital fitness content at Life Time

At the beginning of every year, I set my intentions and create a vision board. This year, I decided to break my goals down into 30-day challenges, so I have a new goal to go after each month. I did this 10 years ago and thought, What a great time to bring it back!

For the month of January, for example, I completed a 5K every day. The hardest part was not the 5K itself, but rather that I aimed to do at least 15 of the days outside in the bitter cold of Minnesota!

Challenging myself to complete goals in this way motivates me to do things that are beneficial to my health (like more daily steps!), while also helping me feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Moving With Family

— David Freeman, CPT, CCP, PES, senior director of Alpha and cohost of the Life Time Talks podcast

I reaffirm my dedication to health and fitness every day by doing workouts alongside my family. My wife, Mechelle, is an Olympian and Olympic coach who also is very dedicated to movement and wellness, and we have two children, Bayne, 11, and Harley, 9. During the summer we work out in the early morning; during the school year we work out in the afternoons.

We often get after it in our garage gym, where my kids follow their sport-specific exercises while I do my own training nearby. It creates a shared energy and keeps us motivated. We also enjoy going to open turf fields together to dial in on areas the kids are developing to get them ready for game day. Sometimes, we also do full family workouts focusing on exercises that everyone can do, like bodyweight movements or speed and agility drills.

Even though we work out individually, being in the same space connects us. It’s less about doing the exact same thing and more about building consistency and elevating each other’s growth.

My commitment to movement remains central to my life. As a coach and mentor to other athletes, I often emphasize its importance not just for physical health, but also for creating connections and support. In my mind, there’s almost nothing better than strengthening the connections I have with my kids and my wife through movement. As a bonus, it’s helping my children build healthy habits too.

Making Time for Socialization

— Marcus Fitts, cycle instructor at Life Time Buckhead in Atlanta, Ga.

It’s easy to get caught up in my nonstop cycle of coaching, programming, and preparing for classes. But making time for friends and loved ones outside of the club is just as important as what I’m doing inside of it.

Whether it’s a casual dinner, game night, or an outdoor adventure, connecting with others socially recharges my spirit and reminds me that we’re more than just our profession. Surrounding myself with positive, uplifting people strengthens both my mental and emotional well-being.

Meditating Regularly

— Jayme Zylstra

Last year I began a journey of completing my 300-hour yoga teacher training, and part of those 300 hours was meditating for 60 minutes, three days a week. This turned out to be the greatest gift, the greatest learning, and the best opportunity to sit with myself and listen to my heart, my thoughts, and my feelings that came up.

I have now made it a practice and priority to meditate three times per week for 60 minutes each. When I do this, my thoughts become clearer, and my worries become less.

If you are just beginning your meditation journey, the Life Time app offers many meditations to choose from with various instructors, times, and focuses. I highly suggest checking it out and seeing how it can help you simply be.

Regular Recharging

— Danica Osborn, group instructor and coach at Life Time in Warrenville, Ill.

In the same way I recharge my phone, I need to recharge my own battery — that’s why I feel self-care is so important. One of my favorite ways to recharge is with a soak in my bathtub — doors locked, music on, drink poured, and mama is ‘off the clock’! I love sitting in there until my toes are wrinkly!

Expressing Gratitude

— Joshua Neal, studio leader at Life Time North Druid Hills in Atlanta, Ga.

Perhaps the most important part of my self-care practice is gratitude. I always start and end my day with gratitude — taking a moment to reflect on what I’m thankful for. It shifts my mindset to one of appreciation and positivity, helping me stay centered and resilient throughout the day.

Morning Movement

— Jayme Zylstra

I preach that movement is medicine, so working out five days a week is a nonnegotiable for me (seven days is a blessing!). I love to start my days with a minimum of 30 minutes of either cardio or strength-training workouts. Setting a shorter duration, like 30 minutes, makes my goal feel attainable — and if I do more, I feel as if I conquered more than I expected.

The on-demand and live-streaming classes have made it so incredibly easy for me to not miss a day. When I’m traveling or can’t make it to the club, I can still get the Life Time energy by going to the Life Time app and finding my favorite class or instructor.

Daily Walks

— Lindsay Payne, yoga boutique leader at Life Time in Edina, Minn.

I believe self-care is essential for living a vibrant life. One way I practice self-care is by enjoying long walks outdoors almost every day. It’s a great way to move my body, get fresh air, be in nature, and spend time with my dogs.

Caring for Skin and Hair

— Marcus Fitts

Constant movement, sweat, and exposure to different environments can take a toll on my skin and hair. A solid self-care routine in these areas isn’t about vanity: For me, it’s about feeling confident, staying healthy, and practicing self-respect.

I love indulging in a full, daily skincare routine. I exfoliate and cleanse, then apply toner, moisturizer, and SPF. Visiting an esthetician to get professional treatments tailored to my skin’s needs has also been a game-changer in maintaining my skin’s health and glow. Seeing my skin radiant and refreshed gives me a sense of confidence that I carry into every class I teach.

Haircare is just as, if not more, important to me. I visit the salon and barbershop weekly to maintain my hair’s health. I prefer to start with a hair appointment at the salon followed by a visit to the barbershop to complete my look. My regular haircare routine includes shampoo and conditioner; I typically choose a protective style (twist or braids) that lasts throughout the week. At the barbershop, I get both my hair and beard tended to, ensuring a sharp and polished appearance.

Switching up my hairstyle feels like putting on a brand-new outfit — it’s an instant confidence boost that leaves me feeling empowered.

Having a Workout Partner

— Joshua Neal

Physically, I take care of my body through teaching classes, which helps me stay active while also allowing me to inspire others to prioritize their fitness as well.

In addition to the connection and motivation I get through classes, I also have a workout buddy who motivates me to push myself and stay consistent. Working out together brings a sense of camaraderie, and it’s always more enjoyable to do with someone by my side.

Practicing Intentionality

— David Freeman

I find self-care can be activated through reflection and personal growth, so I take time to assess my experiences and challenges, allowing myself to learn from them.

For me, reflection is an intentional part of my daily routine, which starts with prayer and gratitude each morning. During this time, I center myself, express thanks for where I am, and reflect on what’s going well and where I can improve. It’s a moment to ground myself and align my focus for the day ahead.

I then take the insights from this reflection and translate them into purposeful action — whether that’s being more present with my family, leading with clarity to those I’m coaching in Alpha, or staying consistent in my personal and professional growth. It’s about starting the day with intention and carrying that energy forward.

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