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When you took the job that you have now, did you hope it would make you happy?

If so, perhaps you’ve been surprised — or even disappointed. Though some people are fortunate enough to love what they do for a living, the majority of us face routine challenges that undermine our efforts to enjoy our jobs.

Whether it’s a difficult boss, competitive coworkers, excessive time demands, or work that’s simply not engaging, the stresses we face at work are real and consequential.

Dealing with coworker incivility is detrimental not only to the employee but also to his or her significant other, according to a 2011 Baylor University study. It can even have a ripple effect that extends to the partner’s workplace. (See “Work Stress Hits Home”.)

Yet our workplaces also offer myriad opportunities to learn and grow — and even become happier.

As former Wall Street executive Michael Carroll, author of The Mindful Leader, puts it, “Maybe problems arise at work not as interruptions or intrusions, but as invitations to gain real wisdom.”

One way to develop workplace wisdom is by improving the way we communicate — whether it’s posting to online forums, sending an email, or having a face-to-face conversation.

The ability to connect with our colleagues plays a critical role in our happiness at work, not least because there is a vital link between skillful self-expression and integrity. Communicating effectively with colleagues allows us to maintain higher levels of trust, which creates more collaborative — and enjoyable — work environments.

These efforts can have an impact beyond the workplace, as well. Successfully managing our emotional states at work can help us be more effective in all areas of our lives.

So how can we practice skillful self-expression at the office?

It starts with mindful self-awareness. Staying present during those inevitable moments of tension gives us the opportunity to assess our thoughts and emotions before reacting. (For more, also see “5 Skills for Authentic Communication.”)

As the following challenging workplace situations show, a little mindfulness at work can go a long way.

1. Challenge: Being Honest at Work — With Yourself and Others

Still, integrity entails speaking up — if only to yourself. That may sound like an oxymoron, but it isn’t.

We often lie to ourselves about our true feelings. We believe that if we tell ourselves the scary truth about how we really feel about someone, we will be forced to change our lives in uncomfortable ways. This paranoia about being fully honest fosters unhappiness in many workplaces. Still, we can be fully honest without blasting the boss or causing disorder.

Here’s one example: I had a meditation student whose colleague appeared to steal an idea from him. Rather than confronting him immediately, my student sat with his feelings for a couple of days. During that time he was totally honest with himself — he felt angry, hurt, and that his trust had been damaged.

By the time he took action and reached out to his colleague by email, he no longer felt heated, even if he was still hurt. His note was short, direct, honest, and respectful. In the end, the colleague apologized and explained. The two of them went on to have an excellent working relationship for many years.

Even if the outcome hadn’t been so positive, my student learned that he could sit with his painful feelings until he felt less reactive. He was honest with himself instead of avoiding the difficulty, which helped him find clarity. Waiting and reflecting allowed him to communicate in a way that was much more effective. And it was the way he treated his own feelings that made the difference — he didn’t have to change anyone else.

Exercise: Pause and Reflect

The next time you experience hurt feelings after a workplace interaction, consciously refrain from reacting for 48 hours. During that time, set aside some time for reflection. Do your best to refrain from focusing on the other person involved, instead directing your attention to your own feelings. What emotions do you feel? See if you can consciously accept them, which may help loosen their grip. After the strong-feelings have subsided, reach out to your colleague. You’ll be in a much better position to communicate your concerns.

Stealth Meditation:
Set an intention for the day before beginning work. For example: “May I treat everyone today with respect, remembering that each person wants to be happy as much as I do.”

2. Challenge: Navigating Office Gossip

One way to avoid the negative effects of gossip is to set good boundaries. When another of my meditation students discovered her boss was having an affair, she made two decisions:

1) She would not help him deceive his spouse or anyone else; and

2) she would not share her knowledge of the affair with others at work, because it was not their business.

Her decision not to support the situation and to refrain from gossip provided her with a safe refuge where she was able to maintain her integrity, because she successfully avoided any conversations that would result in betraying someone’s trust. (Learn more about setting healthy boundaries at “How to Set Clear Boundaries“.)

Exercise: Resist the Urge to Pass It On

The next time someone shares a juicy piece of gossip with you, notice how hard it is not to repeat. Then see if you can sit quietly, bring awareness to that temptation without judgment, and let the desire to share the story fade. Later, try to notice whether setting boundaries around gossip provides you with your own safe refuge. (The good news is you don’t have to stop others from gossiping — your only task is to examine your own response to it.)

Stealth Meditation:
For an upcoming one-on-one conversation, resolve to listen more and speak less.

3. Challenge: An Aggressive Workplace Culture

In such a paradigm, there are winners and losers and little belief in collaboration. When we emphasize power over compassion, and disparagement over cooperation, in our work environments, we weaken our connections with our coworkers and make skillful communication less likely.

Still, we don’t have to play by these rules, even if it seems expected of us.

Another meditation student of mine learned this from a surprising interaction with her restaurant manager. My student had behaved rudely to a customer, and the manager asked to speak with her privately. She geared up to defend herself, since — like many people — she had experienced workplace discipline that was delivered in belittling terms. But she was completely disarmed when the manager began the conversation by complimenting her with utmost sincerity on her work at the restaurant and her general character.

By the time the subject of the problem interaction came up, she was open to hearing what the manager had to say and agreed she could’ve handled it differently.

The problem was resolved without anyone having to win or lose, and without either party resorting to aggressive or disparaging tactics.

Exercise: Offer Positive Feedback

We can diffuse negativity and competition by affirming our colleagues whenever it’s appropriate. Be happy for them when things go well, and supportive when they don’t. When we take joy in others’ successes instead of their losses, we step outside the win–lose equation. Once we’ve grounded ourselves in positive appreciation as a practice, we can offer critical feedback in a more direct and straightforward fashion, without the negative charge.

Stealth Meditation:
Notice how you are holding something — a steering wheel or cup, for instance. What is the quality of your grip? Sometimes we exert so much force holding things it exacerbates our tension without our realizing it.

4. Challenge: The Defensive Colleague

It might sound formulaic, but the use of “I” language is a skill worth practicing if what we want is dialogue and authentic communication. The word “you” is almost guaranteed to trigger defenses and reduce a person’s ability to listen effectively. The difference between “You never meet your deadlines” and “I was planning to work on this document today but it wasn’t ready” can be profound.

Exercise: Use the First Person

When you have critical feedback to offer a colleague, especially one who is habitually defensive, avoid framing the conversation around his or her defects. Instead, focus on the effect on your work or performance. The easiest tactic is to simply remember to use “I” instead of “you,” as in, “I had to work over the weekend on that project, because I didn’t receive the information I needed on time.” Notice if your listener seems better able to receive what you have to say.

Stealth Meditation:
Look for ways to acknowledge someone’s accomplishments. Praise promptness, diligence, or efforts to collaborate, for example.

5. Challenge: Unconscious Body Language

If you can become aware of the fact that your body sends messages of its own, you’ll gain insight into the response of others toward you. You can also gain control of the messages you send.

Here’s how that might look: Say your boss says something annoying to you in passing. Instantly, your sympathetic nervous system is aroused, your heart rate increases, your respiration rate shoots up, and the stress hormone cortisol is released into your bloodstream.

If you don’t pause and attend to your physical response, you may not be able to control your verbal response — and you may say something you regret. But if you stop the moment you notice you’re upset, and conduct a mental review of your body sensations, you’ll have the chance to take a breath and relax. Relaxing under pressure allows for new responses and possibilities, so you can choose the best verbal reply and course of action.

Exercise: Body Check

The next time you feel annoyed at work, pause and conduct a brief mental body scan. Take the time to unclench your hands, relax your jaw, catch your breath, and step back a couple of feet (literally), rather than sending an inappropriate physical — or verbal — response.

Stealth Meditation:
When walking to a meeting or to lunch, feel your feet against the ground and the sense of your body moving through space. Do not text or take calls while doing this.

6. Challenge: Email Communications

“When you type an email, before you send it, sit back, take three deep breaths while not thinking about the email, then return to the email and reread it — not so much for the data but for the emotional effect it will have on the reader,” says Google visionary Chade-Meng Tan. “Imagine being that reader and try to look at the impact it might have. Then change it accordingly and send it.”

While it might seem time consuming to write an email this way, it is far easier than trying to retrieve a regrettable message.

Exercise: Mindful Email

Before sending an important email to the intended recipient, send it to yourself first. When you read it as the recipient, you’ll take in the tone, implications, and omissions that you might otherwise miss when you’re focused on composition. This will also give you the time you may need to reassess your own emotional state and revise the message (if necessary) before sending it off.

Stealth Meditation:
We all receive upsetting emails. Resolve to wait at least two hours to respond to anything that makes your heart race.

7. Challenge: Constant Interruptions

One study found that people whose work is constantly interrupted make 50 percent more mistakes and take twice as long to finish their tasks than those who work undisturbed.

A happy workplace requires that employees working in close quarters respect the privacy of their coworkers. The key to working in disruption-prone environments is to set a good example: We can practice being mindful of our colleagues’ mental space and not dominating the environment with unhelpful chatter, nosiness, and interruptions. We can also practice patience.

Exercise: Make Peace With Interruptions

If someone consistently interrupts your work flow, and you’re becoming agitated, see if you can put the irritated feelings aside and deal with the present moment’s needs. The goal is not to reject your own irritability as “bad”; you’re just making the choice to pay attention to something else.

This also doesn’t mean you never seek resolution with a chronic interrupter. It means you can do so at a time and place of your choosing. The best time for an honest, constructive conversation about workplace boundaries is when tensions have subsided. You’ll be more charitable to your colleagues’ feelings and more creative when considering solutions.

Finally, use the power of nonverbal communication. Wear headphones to signal that you’re concentrating. Post a sign next to your computer stating what time you’ll be available for conversation. And if someone still interrupts you, remember to take a deep breath before replying.

Stealth Meditation:
Try to perform a conscious act of kindness every day. It can be as simple as holding an elevator door, saying thank you in a sincere manner, or listening to someone with a clear and focused mind.

Self-Expression

The following three criteria will help you develop skillful communication at work (and everywhere else) by helping you decide what (and whether) to communicate. They are valuable whether an interaction happens in person, on the phone, or in a digital format.

1. Is what you’re saying true? Truthfulness must be the bottom line. If we’re being half-honest, we compromise our integrity and risk losing our colleagues’ trust.

2. Is it useful? Ask yourself if what you have to say is truly constructive and will help achieve the goal you have in mind. Be sensitive to the context, timing, and emotional state of your listener. It is unhelpful to pursue tough conversations until someone who is clearly upset has regained his or her composure.

3. Is it kind? Can you communicate what you have to say in a way that is polite, nonaggressive, nonconfrontational, and still honest? Do you feel “clean” in this communication, or is it tainted by competition, manipulation, or malice?

When communication fails to meet these three criteria — being true, useful, and kind — it’s wise to hold our tongues until we’ve given more thought to what we want to say.

This article has been updated and originally appeared as “Office Talk” in the September 2015 issue of Experience Life.

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Employee satisfaction is crucial to a positive workplace, and that often stems from team members feeling healthy, supported, and productive. If one, or all, of those feelings are absent, chances are your employees aren’t as fulfilled as they could be.

Employees who feel cared for tend to be more dedicated to both their employer and their work. And research shows that healthier employees are also more productive.

“Consider someone who starts their day with a nutritious breakfast and a workout — their body will be properly fueled and experiencing endorphins that keep their energy high throughout the day, resulting in a higher productivity level,” says Chris Lichtenberger, vice president of corporate sales at Life Time. “Sluggishness during the workday often comes down to lifestyle habits.”

One way to promote a healthy lifestyle for your employees (and yourself!) is through access to a health club, such as Life Time athletic country clubs. Via its corporate partnership program, Life Time works with organizations to provide their employees with all the access that comes with a Signature Membership.

These are just a few of the advantages that both employees and employers can gain from this kind of offering.

For your company:

1. Lower healthcare costs.

Healthier employees have fewer medical expenses, which can ultimately save your company healthcare dollars.

According to a study conducted by Medica that researched the outcome of its exercise offering to employees, the average monthly medical costs were one-third less for those who used a health club eight times a month than for those who did not. Those who did not attend a health club at this rate were also more likely (anywhere between 43 to 105 percent) to have been to a clinic, hospital, or emergency room.

2. Recruit and retain top talent.

“Perhaps now more than ever before, employees care about the type of company they’re working for, and supporting them in their healthy way of life shows that you are invested in their well-being,” says Lichtenberger. “We’re also seeing more companies offering wellness perks as that becomes a greater priority for populations, especially millennial and gen Z age groups. This allows you to remain competitive — or stand out.”

3. Turnkey administration.

Life Time offers easy online enrollment, provides monthly electronic reporting on usage, and creates a website you can share with employees that showcases the many Life Time locations available to them. “We do all the work,” says Lichtenberger. “We’ll even create flyers for your breakroom.”

Plus, there are flexible pricing options for companies big and small.

4. Subsidy matching.

Life Time matches a portion of your company’s contribution to club membership fees. Lichtenberger notes that a minimum of five memberships per company are required, which means even if you have a small business with only five employees, this is still an offering you can provide to them.

For your employees:

5. $0 joining fees.

“With less cost to the employee upfront, it’s easier and more appealing for them to engage with the benefit,” says Lichtenberger. “This is a huge perk.”

6. Reduced dues.

Because Life Time matches a portion of your company’s contribution to club membership fees, it results in a lower membership cost for your employees.

“If the company wants to contribute X amount toward each employees’ membership, and Life Time also covers a portion, then the employee is left paying a fraction of the typical membership cost,” explains Lichtenberger. “I’ve even seen some companies cover more of the cost to ensure their employees don’t have to pay anything.”

7. New-member benefits.

Every new Life Time member receives a complimentary onboarding session with a certified Dynamic Personal Trainer to learn about building a fitness routine, choosing nutritional supplements, and using the specialized equipment on the workout floor. Outside of that session, they have immediate access to all the benefits that come with a Signature Membership, such as complimentary court time and unlimited group training classes.

To learn more about corporate wellness options, visit the Life Time Corporate Partnerships website.

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The way many of us work has changed in recent years, especially for those who have office or entrepreneurial jobs. More than ever, people are looking to simplify their routines, reduce commutes, and increase the time that they spend in environments that inspire them.

“As work has become more distributed, and flexibility in work location more commonplace, we’ve noticed more Life Time members working from laptops in the clubs — taking phone calls, sending emails, or completing whatever work was on their plate for that given day,” shares James O’Reilly, president of Life Time Work. “Observing this change in member behavior prompted us to find opportunities to bring components of our Life Time Work business into our clubs.”

Now, in addition to the Life Time Work offering, where professionals can work out of a standalone coworking environment that is either connected or located in close proximity to a Life Time athletic country club, there are also two distinct Life Time Work Club Lounge options for those who want to work in a designated space inside the club itself.

“Our hope is that by adding more options as part of the Life Time Work experience and providing more places for members to work efficiently, we’ll be able to serve a greater variety of member needs and a wider set of use cases, ultimately impacting more members,” says O’Reilly.

O’Reilly explains the options provided with the two new Life Time Work Club Lounge offerings:

Life Time Work Club Lounge

Life Time Work Club Lounges are open plan work, community-style areas inside Life Time athletic country clubs that are complimentary for all Life Time members to use — no specific Life Time Work membership required.

“This is the perfect touchdown space where members can enjoy room to sit down and plug in,” explains O’Reilly. “This isn’t meant to be the place for someone to spend an entire day, but rather is a great option for members to stop and sit for an hour or so before or after their workouts. They can take a phone call, respond to emails, or catch up on daily tasks before leaving the club for the day.”

The design aesthetic is in line with our traditional Life Time Work spaces and features a variety of seating options, including low- and high-top tables. “There’s less traffic and noise in this area than you’ll find in the LifeCafe, making it an atmosphere that’s more conducive to productivity,” O’Reilly says. “If you finish your workout and your phone is blowing up and you need a quieter place to address work items before carrying on with the rest of your day, this is the ideal spot for that.”

Life Time Work Club Lounge Premium

Life Time Work Club Lounge Premium spaces are enclosed, professional work spaces inside of Life Time athletic country clubs that require a membership upgrade to gain access. Members can choose to use the space for a couple of hours or for a full day. Features include private phone booths, collaboration nooks, varying desk options, printing, and refrigeration space (specific spaces and amenities vary by club).

“You can think of this as your middle-ground option,” explains O’Reilly. “It offers more amenities than the complimentary club lounge spaces, but not as many as you’d get with a membership to a standalone Life Time Work space. The best fit for you will depend on your workspace needs and specific use case.

“This option allows members to be embedded in the athletic country club environment and plan their day around working in this space,” continues O’Reilly. “The aspiration line between going to work and working out is blurred when you take advantage of this space. You can prioritize work and your healthy way of life all in one place.”

Note: Life Time Work and Life Time Work Club Lounge offerings are currently available in select markets across the United States. You can find the growing list of locations here.

What Is Life Time Work?

Life Time Work is the first and only coworking concept that combines exceptional workspaces with a world-class health club experience: A membership to the Life Time Work includes a membership to a Life Time Athletic Country Club, which is always located within a few steps or a short drive.

The traditional Life Time Work offering allows professionals to be productive in an array of spaces equipped with ergonomic furnishings — think large, open coworking areas; private offices and desks, private phone booths; and conference rooms. Other amenities include a dedicated staff, secure and fast Wi-Fi, responsive tech support, printing capabilities, fresh coffee, healthy snacks, a community kitchen, and hosted events. The overall look and feel is sleek and modern, and the entire space is designed with your productivity in mind.

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1) Get cushioned.

Standing static on a hard surface is a fast track to discomfort. Wear a cushioned shoe or add cushioning with a rug, exercise mat, or antifatigue mat created especially for people who stand for long periods of time.

2) Adjust desk height.

Many fixed-height standing desks are 40 to 42 inches tall, and there are adjustable solutions that sit on top to give you more leeway in terms of surface height. To find the right height, use this rule of thumb: Standing at your desk, bend your elbows so your forearms are parallel to the floor. The desk should be at elbow height plus one inch. We say should, not must, because you’ve got to see how it feels. If it doesn’t feel good, that’s a sign to adjust up or down.

3) Assume the ideal standing position.

The point of using a standing desk is to move more, so you’re going to automatically assume many different positions during your standing sessions. But during those times you’re standing straight, the best position is this: Stand comfortably with your feet straight and underneath your hips, with 50 percent of your weight on the balls of your feet and 50 percent of your weight on the heels.

4) Support your stance.

If you have the right accessories next to you, your body will naturally figure out how to use them to lighten its load and stay in equilibrium. Placing a barstool — preferably one with a flat seat and squared edges that’s about the height of your inseam — behind you gives you a surface to occasionally perch on, lean back against, or rest your foot on.

The other workstation essential we recommend is a foot support that, by allowing you to prop up one foot, can make it easier to stand comfortably.

5) Train to stand.

We really mean it: You need to train for using a standing workstation like you’d train for a marathon. Just as you wouldn’t go from spending your waking days on the couch to running 26.2 miles, you shouldn’t go from years of sitting to standing eight hours a day. If you do, it’s going to be painful.

6) Take it slow.

Start out with a half hour a day and increase at a pace that feels right.

And remember: You don’t need to stand perfectly still. If you’re itching to move, then move! Sway your hips. March in place. Do some stretches. Let your body be your guide.

Sitting for long periods might be common, but it can undermine your health. Learn more at “The Vital Role Standing — Versus Sitting — Plays in Your Health” from which this article was excerpted.

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Elevated Pigeon

• While sitting in a chair, keeping one foot flat on the floor, bend your other leg and place your ankle on top of your bent knee so that your legs form a “4” shape.
• Place your hands on your bent leg, lean forward slightly, and rotate toward your left side, then toward your right side.
• Continue alternating between the two positions, rotating left and right, for two minutes or as long as possible.
• Repeat on the opposite side.
  

Kneeling Isometric

• Kneel on the floor with your right leg at a 90-degree angle and your left knee on the floor behind you. Maintain an upright torso and place your hands on your right knee.
• Squeeze the right side of your butt and move your right knee forward as far as you can — it won’t go far with your butt squeezed — and hold the position.
• Keep your butt engaged as you breathe — five slow inhales, five slow exhales — for one minute. Make sure you keep the working side of your butt engaged for the entire minute.
• Repeat on the opposite side.

Sitting for long periods might be common, but it can undermine your health. Learn more at “The Vital Role Standing — Versus Sitting — Plays in Your Health,” from which this piece was excerpted.

The post Been Sitting Too Long? Try These 2 Moves appeared first on Experience Life.

We understand that some people won’t or can’t use a standing workstation. But moving more while seated is possible. Whether you sit all the time or rotate between sitting and standing, these are three ways to keep moving.

1) Breathe

This isn’t so much about moving as it is about avoiding the tendency to curl up like a shrimp while sitting at a desk, straining your neck, shoulders, back, and on down the line. When seated, get into a shape that allows you to take a deep breath. If you can’t breathe deeply into your belly, it’s a sign that you’re not in a movement-friendly position. Once you’re where you can breathe fully, then you can think about starting to move more.

2) Gear up

We recommend two things to help you move more while sitting. One is a fidget bar. There are several of these footrest devices on the market that provide a little resistance as you swing them or push against them. (You can use them with standing desks too.)

The other item we recommend is a chair that allows for greater movement of the torso. The “active seating” category includes chairs, stools, and balls. We don’t have a favorite, just an overall rule of thumb: Your desk chair should not resemble a cozy little alcove for you to slump into.

3) Rise up

Baseball has the seventh-inning stretch; you can have the half-hour stretch. Do whatever it takes to remind yourself to get out of your chair every 30 minutes. Set an electronic alert on your computer or an alarm on your watch — and obey it! Get up for a minute or more and move (try these one-minute moves to refresh your mind and body). If you can’t stand up, use that alert to just move more within the confines of your chair.

Sitting for long periods might be common, but it can undermine your health. For more, see “The Vital Role Standing — Versus Sitting — Plays in Your Health” from which this article was excerpted. 

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